My dear friend Julia Christine is back again, for another powerful conversation! Do you ever find yourself chuckling at the spot-on mood themes of Spotify playlists, or perhaps you've caught the self-love bug that buzzes loudest around Valentine's Day? We've all been there, and this episode hits the high notes on the symphony of emotions that music can evoke, weaving in everything from the catharsis of angry tunes to the enveloping warmth of a comforting melody. We swap tales that'll have you nodding in agreement, dig into the psychology of our playlists, and even take a detour through the floral aisles, discussing why self-gifting isn't just for the romantics.
Speaking of self-love, it's not just a catchphrase for February—it's a year-round gig, and today we're your tour guides on the scenic route from self-care to heartfelt self-appreciation. Rediscover the joy in a morning stroll and how it can echo the steps we take towards nurturing our inner selves, beyond the noise of commercialized affection.
By the end of our chat, you'll be itching to light some candles and let the playlist roll, but it's not just about setting the ambiance—it's about crafting a space where you can truly unwind and reconnect. We share not only our personal stories but also practical tips on transforming the everyday into an act of love toward yourself. Picture this: a serendipitous tune tying up our discussion in a perfect bow, illustrating life's little synchronicities and the sweet symphony that plays when you start to dance to the rhythm of self-care. Let's tune in and turn up the volume on loving ourselves, shall we?
Connect with us here: https://purepossibilities.net for information about Mindset Magic, FREE monthly group coaching and information regarding 1:1 personalized coaching!
......... While I'm here to share suggestions and insights to educate, inspire, and support you on your journey, it's crucial to note that I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor. I don't provide professional health or medical advice. If you're dealing with a psychological or medical condition, it's important to seek help from a qualified health professional. Your well-being is the top priority, so make sure to connect with the right experts if you need that extra support.
My dear friend Julia Christine is back again, for another powerful conversation! Do you ever find yourself chuckling at the spot-on mood themes of Spotify playlists, or perhaps you've caught the self-love bug that buzzes loudest around Valentine's Day? We've all been there, and this episode hits the high notes on the symphony of emotions that music can evoke, weaving in everything from the catharsis of angry tunes to the enveloping warmth of a comforting melody. We swap tales that'll have you nodding in agreement, dig into the psychology of our playlists, and even take a detour through the floral aisles, discussing why self-gifting isn't just for the romantics.
Speaking of self-love, it's not just a catchphrase for February—it's a year-round gig, and today we're your tour guides on the scenic route from self-care to heartfelt self-appreciation. Rediscover the joy in a morning stroll and how it can echo the steps we take towards nurturing our inner selves, beyond the noise of commercialized affection.
By the end of our chat, you'll be itching to light some candles and let the playlist roll, but it's not just about setting the ambiance—it's about crafting a space where you can truly unwind and reconnect. We share not only our personal stories but also practical tips on transforming the everyday into an act of love toward yourself. Picture this: a serendipitous tune tying up our discussion in a perfect bow, illustrating life's little synchronicities and the sweet symphony that plays when you start to dance to the rhythm of self-care. Let's tune in and turn up the volume on loving ourselves, shall we?
Connect with us here: https://purepossibilities.net for information about Mindset Magic, FREE monthly group coaching and information regarding 1:1 personalized coaching!
......... While I'm here to share suggestions and insights to educate, inspire, and support you on your journey, it's crucial to note that I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor. I don't provide professional health or medical advice. If you're dealing with a psychological or medical condition, it's important to seek help from a qualified health professional. Your well-being is the top priority, so make sure to connect with the right experts if you need that extra support.
Speaker 1:
to start, just like start telling that story, just start right out of the gate.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, because that's what we do.
Speaker 1:
It's true, we just have a conversation. We are just having a conversation, we are so tell me about yesterday. Okay, so yesterday I was driving to work and I looked over on the dash on my car and it says on my Spotify playlist it says you can buy yourself flowers. And they had a little flower emoji. I was like, oh that's so cute I know you like emojis. And then I was looking at the songs that were available or it was offering some playlist that started cracking up because they were ridiculous. It was like all about February, so it was feeling myself sad. Bops. Songs to scream in the car. Confidence boost, villain mode. Classics for crying anti-Valentine's day.
Speaker 2:
I was like classics, for crying is the best thing ever. That's hilarious.
Speaker 1:
I love that. It was hilarious. And so then I had to do a reel about it because I'm like, oh my gosh, this is the funniest thing ever, because, you know, february is all about love and Valentine's Day and all the things. But if I wasn't you know I'm single and if I wasn't in a solid state, that could have taken me down a freaking spiral and classics for crying would have been exactly what to listen to. Yeah, it was really, it was funny.
Speaker 2:
It is funny and it's just funny to talk about music in general, just because we know so much more now about the frequency of music and how it can literally change your like, everything Like it can heal you. There's so much stuff and so like it's true. It's true when you get into a moment like we were talking the other day about, like being angry and I just want to listen to some angry music. You know what I mean. Even though it's not healthy for me, it's not something that if I'm in a good mood I don't want to listen to angry music, but if I'm angry I want to listen to angry music, you know so even when I'm angry, I don't want to listen to angry music.
Speaker 2:
Really it depends. It depends on the anger. But like when in like sometimes I just need to like blast some like cursing songs or like either like super, like loud metal, because see for me, like I love music and like I so appreciate guitars, like in heavy metal stuff, like I don't like the screaming lyrics or anything like that, but like raging against the machine, like there's some guitarist things that I'm just like I love it, and so I just get off on some of that like really aggressive stuff and maybe it comes from when I was kickboxing. But like when you are like in that air mode, like listening to some, I say hardcore rap. Trust me, the hardcore rap I listened to is not considered hardcore rap, but for me it's hardcore rap.
Speaker 1:
I feel you on that, I did.
Speaker 2:
I was like angry the other day and I like literally went and took a shower and threw on. I'm not going to tell you what I threw on.
Speaker 1:
You know what I threw on.
Speaker 2:
But it's after saying hardcore rap, people are going to be like, OK, that is not hardcore rap.
Speaker 1:
I promise it's not like we'll see it, I totally know what you must. I know, I know what you would have been listening to. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
No, but you know there's plenty of cursing and I'm like singing along and like getting it out, and then it's out and I don't need to listen to it anymore.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I guess, I guess I don't go with the angry music but I go with loud music and I'll be in my car and blasting it and screaming really loud, the louder, the freaking better. You know, apparently, songs to scream in the car. That's the. That's the playlist I need. I love that, and.
Speaker 2:
But I'm going to say, though, like the crying with the classics, like cracks we have, that's where you lose me a little bit. If I'm sad, I don't want to watch a sad movie. If I'm sad, I don't want to listen to a sad song. When I'm sad, I need something that's comforting, which I guess maybe people find comfort in those sadder songs. But like you know me, you know this when I'm blue, I call it my blue movie. I'll watch Alice in Wonderland because it's like, yeah, or we can marry pop and there's something ridiculous, but it's a comfort thing. It's not. It's not, but it's not sad, you know.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, no, I. You know. It's funny because I was thinking to myself why is Spotify thinking that I need these? You know, need these songs in my life right now.
Speaker 2:
I don't think it's like. What was the universe like? What was the universe trying to?
Speaker 1:
say to me Nothing.
Speaker 2:
I feel like sometimes we ask that question and it's like come on, the universe isn't telling you anything.
Speaker 1:
I don't know, I went to see exactly.
Speaker 1:
It was just food, for fodder, or it was reminding me. So I did buy myself flowers. I had actually gone to the store the night before, as you do. Yes, I do, because I love flowers and, oh my gosh, a week out from Valentine's Day, roses are ridiculous. I was going to say twice the price, yeah, and normally it's 1299 for a dozen roses, 2199. And just for the roses, not in a vase. So I did not get roses this time. I got some other flowers and they're beautiful, and I made a gorgeous bouquet for myself because I can buy myself flowers and I do all the time.
Speaker 2:
I follow this guy on Pinterest and he breaks down songs and so it's like taking the like there'll be like either a sped up track or a slowed down track of like a song from like the 70s or like earlier, and or like a bluesy jazz song that you've never heard of before, but it's actually sped up to be like in Nicki Minaj's latest song or something like that. I mean, that's just an example, but like it's really cool to see those dip like the side by side comparisons of like here's where this originated from and here's the song you know and one of the, the one after she won at the Grammys. It showed like it's literally her, it's. This song is her response to Bruno Mars.
Speaker 2:
The song was like I should have bought you flowers, should have bought you flowers. And she's like I can buy myself flowers and walked you home in the rain, and that's the next word. Like in literally everything he says, she's like I can do that for myself, I can do that for myself. And I was like, oh my God, like it is absolutely back to back exactly each song, like wow, yeah, and so obviously it was intentional, it had to be. There's no way that that was that coincidental. But I was like I'm curious. I'm so curious now, because now I'm like where did that come from? Did she ask him? Did they talk about it? Because it's supposed to not be about him, it's supposed to be about the Helmsworth that she was with right, yeah, I mean, I don't, I'm so not a celebrity, like follower, yeah, neither. So like I don't know, but like, so I don't care about the relationship part of it. But I was like why did she do that from his song? Or, like you know, I want the information.
Speaker 1:
Give me all the juicy details, but he didn't provide that. Here's the thing.
Speaker 2:
I know right, but isn't that cool. I'll see if I can find it and maybe I'll find it. If you want to see it, I would love to. I will say I do like that song. I do like both of those songs.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, definitely Definitely a fan. I love some Miley in my life. The Climb is a good one too. That's the Climb. That's one that I go to. It's like pulls me up into a. You got this, you can do it. It's all about the Climb. I'll have to listen to it. I don't know that song what you don't know? The Climb. Oh my gosh, I'll send it to you when we're done.
Speaker 2:
You know me and music. I'm not good about modern music and it's unfortunate because I know I would like so much of it. I just love music but I tend to listen to the same shit, Like that's the same stuff I grew up with, that's the same stuff. I know I do put like Pandora on my television and I'll like put in like 90s hip hop or it's like you know, okay, go. And then there's all this like alternative stuff, and so it's not really. But there's a song that I love and I was talking about it today and he may have won something. I don't know if he did or not or if he was even up for it Teddy Swims. Do you know who that is?
Speaker 1:
No, I have no idea. I'm so bad about artist names though, like I love music, but I don't always know who the artist is or the name of the song.
Speaker 2:
It's called lose control. It's like I lose control and he like, like, does this? Like? It's like super smoky, bluesy, no, nothing, no, just saying for the world and you don't know what I'm talking about. But it was beautiful. Oh yeah, Teddy Swims watch out, here comes Julia, she's coming for you, she's coming for you, for the little weak ass voice.
Speaker 2:
But he's like, he's like this white tatted out big dude and like singing this like blues, like from his soul. It's just so good, so good. Anyway, and I have to tell you Drone Legends, stardust is holds a very special place in my heart, but also I know I know it does and I definitely.
Speaker 1:
it's a beautiful song.
Speaker 2:
It's amazing and it's so freaking true. It like that's what I love about it, probably, probably, more than where it came from, because it is just so true and when you embrace that about yourself, it's so empowering, so absolutely.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, so we decided to get together to chat a little bit about well. February is obviously a big focus on love. It's the month of love and pinks and roses, yes, and all that fun, and I don't know. I think that obviously, people focus on partnership and love and Valentine's Day and all of that in the month of February, but I think that we should talk a little bit about self love.
Speaker 2:
I think you're absolutely right, but not just in February, but all the time Exactly.
Speaker 1:
Because you shouldn't just focus. Well, I mean, we could even go to. I like I could even say you know, just buying flowers on Valentine's Day, you know, that's not really a thing. I think that we should show love to everyone. Including ourselves, all the time, not just because it's February or Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2:
You know, I just had a thought, as you say that, about buying flowers for yourself anytime. This is a little bit off subject, but I'm just curious Do you think that, like growing up and like as an adult, I feel like everybody's talking so much more about the consumerism of the holidays all of them, but especially something like Valentine's Day? It's not even a real holiday, it's just commercialism, not consumerism. But do you think that's something that, like, our parents talked about? Like I don't remember adult talking about that at all growing up, about the commercialism of these holidays or is that something that is like has happened?
Speaker 1:
over the last 40 something years since we've been growing up, yeah, or even 20 something years. Yeah, no, I agree. I mean, I remember Valentine's Day as a kid and doing the val exchanging the Valentine's and elementary school and making the cute little, decorating the cute little boxes.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:
Do that in class. I'm pretty confident nobody does that. Now Right.
Speaker 2:
Well, even when I was growing up, though, you had to do it for everybody. It wasn't just for the people that you liked, you did it for everybody Getting into high school and stuff. You would buy holiday, like grams that you would send to people, your friends and-.
Speaker 1:
You have a Valentine's gra candy grams, Candy grams yeah.
Speaker 2:
So anyway, I just was curious is this a quote unquote new thing? Or is this like an us thing, or is this something that people have always been aware that obviously this is a very commercial holiday and doesn't really like, or is it Anyway, just curious, doesn't matter, but speaks to the fact that this is a day where everybody recognizes that, but that doesn't mean that it has to be only on that day, only on that day or only in that month.
Speaker 1:
Right, exactly, yeah, exactly so self-love, self-love, yeah, self-love and self-care. I mean, I know that I haven't been. I feel like I could be doing a better job with that lately. This morning I got up and I had decided that I was going to go for a walk. I was like that would make me feel good and so I went for a walk and it was amazing, because it was a beautifully freezing sunny morning. Yeah, but it just feels so good when you like intentionally do things for yourself 100%.
Speaker 2:
And it's interesting because I've had this conversation with a couple of different people about the difference between self-care and self-love, because we throw those words around and you know, mean words, and so what is the difference between self-care and self-love? And I think that there's a big difference because you can take care of yourself. I know a lot of people who take really good care of themselves. They get their nails done, they brush their teeth every night, they wash their face twice a day, they you know what I mean, like all the things that not everybody always does and like. So they take really good care of themselves. They don't love themselves, yeah, at all.
Speaker 2:
And so like there's a difference because you can go and take really good care of yourself, and sometimes people don't, and so there's also that like, please take the time to give yourself some care, take the time to matter to yourself, and then that kind of goes into do you actually love yourself? And I know that it's important to both of us for people to love themselves, always where they are, how they are, who they are. And that's really sometimes hard to do when you feel constantly judged by yourself, by a society, by your family, by your religion, by blah, blah, blah, blah blah. By you name it, you know by the magazine covers.
Speaker 1:
No, I completely, I completely agree. I actually just did an episode yesterday talking about being worthy of feeling good and doing things for yourself. But you're right, you have to. You do have to remember where you're at, and that that's, that's OK, even, and I don't know. I mean, I feel like when you do actually do something for yourself and again it doesn't have to be massages and nails and all of that Anything doesn't have to cost you any money.
Speaker 1:
But just literally taking a few minutes, like going for a walk today. I mean, we feel so much better. And so, when you're not necessarily in a space of loving yourself, if you can pull yourself out enough to go do something for yourself sometimes that can start to help you.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely.
Speaker 1:
Or like yourself a little bit more, or you know well, and that's right. Sometimes you will, sometimes you go. Can't go straight from loving. You know you have to like, start to like yourself a little bit before you can even start to love yourself.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, absolutely Well, and you also have to kind of get to know who you are before you can start liking and loving yourself. Like it is seriously truly a process and we know that from I don't know if you remember this, but you know I'm obsessed with Louise Hayes you Can Heal your Life. I listened to it, a good Jillian Times and she did when she was working with her clients. She did a lot of mirror work where she would have them hold a mirror and talk to themselves and stuff.
Speaker 2:
And when you ask somebody and you know to look themselves in the eye, some people can't do that, not even saying anything, just looking themselves in the eye in the mirror. And so, like it's a process, instead of so I tell people, like I try to get people to to tell themselves that they love themselves. That's a huge stretch for someone who can't even look themselves in the eye to then say they love themselves, no, and so then you go back, you go down to like I accepted myself or I approve of myself, and then sometimes that's too much, and so I was talking to my friend, ken Ann, and she and I were talking about just say good morning to yourself and if you can't look yourself in the eye and say good morning Julia. Then look at your mouth. Watch your mouth form the words good morning rather than looking directly in your eyes.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and then work up to your nose and then do that for a week or two and then work up to your eyes and see how you feel, and then maybe smile at yourself and see how that feels and then, like, literally take the time, take and remember that each one of those steps, there's no judgment. I can't say I can't look at myself in the mirror, so I'm not going to do any of it. No, no, no, no, no. You can't look yourself in the mirror, but you can watch your mouth form those words Brilliant. Let's do that for a week and then there's more progress and we celebrate each step of the way. And that's this whole thing is a process of learning how to love yourself by caring for yourself, by finding out who you are, by connecting to yourself. And that takes time and, like you know, I always talk about like, give me three minutes of your morning, just three minutes. Take three minutes to take a breath and say good morning to yourself in the mirror and you deserve those three minutes.
Speaker 1:
Three minutes, three minutes, yeah. And then when people say that they, can't find it.
Speaker 2:
There is time.
Speaker 1:
We can make time for three minutes in our day Totally.
Speaker 2:
And when people say they can't find it because of the kids and because of this and because of that, okay, cool, I'm not going to argue with you because I can, like, as one of our mentors, cathy Eller, would say like, show me your phone, let's look at your screen time. Let me show you where you've got time. Yeah, you've got three minutes for sure, but I'm not going to argue with you.
Speaker 2:
I'm just going to say you're on the toilet more than three minutes, so, while you're on the toilet, take a couple of breaths. You know what I mean? Like how's you've got time for yourself. You just have to find it. You're at a stoplight. Take a couple of breaths. You're at a stoplight with the kids in the car. Hey kids, this is what we're going to do. At all the red lights, we're going to take three deep breaths Every time there's red lights, breath time. You know like, and now you're instilling this practice in your kids.
Speaker 1:
Like yeah, it's the. It's the consciousness and the awareness of being and being intentional about it, Right?
Speaker 2:
And understanding that those three breaths are making a difference and like, not flippantly, Like not flippantly yeah, so, and so that's.
Speaker 2:
anyway. I think that's a really good thing to think about the difference between self-care and self-love, and where it starts and like because you know that's your amazing mini series started out with like, where do I even begin? Well, for me, I have to know who I am in order to know who I want. I have to know who I am in order to be able to like myself, love myself, and I have to be able to care about myself in order to love myself. And vice versa, I have to love myself in order to take the time to care for myself.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, absolutely, and you're so right about the getting to know who you are. I mean that's, we have so many beliefs and thoughts and ideas from what other people have told us who we are, or just who we believe we were because we were behaving and being a certain way for so many years. It's kind of a fun thing getting to know yourself and learning who you are and you know, going down that path, and then you get to do nice things for yourself, which can also be fun.
Speaker 2:
And absolutely is fun.
Speaker 1:
It's always fun.
Speaker 2:
Well, and also, like you said, you were like I'm going to go on a walk, that's a good way for me to take care of myself this morning, or to care for myself this morning. And then you were out there and you're like, oh, this is incredible. You know, I feel like that almost every time I go outside. This morning I was like I want to go buy myself a coffee and journal, and it was like I have so much to do today. I really shouldn't have left my house, but I was like I really want to do this. This feels important. And so I went and like I had a great time.
Speaker 2:
People didn't do what I thought I was going to do, but I did do a little bit of journaling and was able to like be where I wanted to be and in that space, and that feels good. When you follow that feeling of like I want to do this and you do it, First of all, you're listening to yourself and we shut off that listening to ourselves thing because we're so consumed with doing what we're supposed to be doing, what we should be doing, what society tells us to do, what our parents tell us to do, with our coworkers, our spouses, our children, our blah, blah, blah, blah blah. And where are we listening to ourselves and all that? Yeah.
Speaker 1:
So I decided to take my. My path led me to the park and I went Swings, swings yeah. I love it when you go on the swings because I know how much you love it. I know it was so fun they were all wet, and so you know what I did. There happened to be a thing there of of bags for poop Dogs, yeah, for the dogs. I totally took a bag I like, ripped it open on the swings Amazing, oh my God.
Speaker 2:
I really like I hope somewhere, secretly, somebody was videoing you and there's going to be this like viral video of Shannon putting a poop bag on the swings. But you know what I hope there is and I hope they set it to amazing music and it says something like follow your heart, do what you love, or something like that, because that's what you did. Yeah, I know that it probably wasn't that conscious, but I believe very strongly that you were totally connecting with your inner child, absolutely. You got a little girl said let's swing, and you said, let's go swing today, yeah.
Speaker 1:
And you said, okay, let's do it, here's a good bag. I was like, well, yeah, okay, I was literally going to sit there and let my ass get wet. But then I turned over to the girl and I was like, let's get me, there's a bag.
Speaker 2:
And that's where I'll be home going, and then I'll be home soon, it's fine, I want to swing on the swings, damn it. Good.
Speaker 1:
Do it? Yeah, for sure it was fun See and look at the energy. I mean, and that was several hours ago, like that was this morning and it. You know, starting my day that way was amazing yeah.
Speaker 2:
And it's all about following what feels good and listening to that, listening to that feeling of like, oh, that, that sounds good, that feels good, let's try that, you know. And then following that and it that is a practice. I was going to say it's hard, it's not hard, it's a practice. You figure it out, yeah, and when it doesn't feel good, then you can stop yourself and do the other thing and be like, oh, this is what I was supposed to be doing all along, you know.
Speaker 1:
Well, and it's funny because, like for me, like you know, I obviously talk a lot about a feel good list and things that you know, things that I like to do, and I have this list that I can pull off of things that I like to do that make me feel good, right, and it kind of varies depending on the season. Like, yeah, totally, I mean I always love to go for a walk. I love to go for a walk more when it's not falling down rain, I don't know why. I mean, I do love walking in the rain sometimes, but not, yeah, not all the time. So I've been missing walking and so that's that's what really. That's where that impulse came today, cause I was like, you know, I have not been outside and doing that and I just just love being outside and I mean you, you hate to be outside.
Speaker 2:
I hate being outside. I was just thinking like it's supposed to be really cold next week and I'm like I got to get out tomorrow, Like it's supposed to be really warm tomorrow and I'm like I'm going to go to the park. I haven't been to the park, I don't think. I've been to the park.
Speaker 1:
A long time.
Speaker 2:
Like October or November, like that's ridiculous. Yeah, anyway, I think I might go to the park tomorrow.
Speaker 1:
I don't think I will be able to go out. I think that's amazing. Didn't you say it was going to be like 58 degrees there?
Speaker 2:
or something, I think. So that's what somebody told me and I was like you're kidding, cause next week it's supposed to be like average 22, 25 all week.
Speaker 1:
Anyway, we don't have to talk about the weather. We don't need to talk about the weather, but we do want to talk about this little thing that you've got going on being of self love.
Speaker 2:
I? You know, it was brought to my attention a long time ago, probably close to a year ago. One of our friend was doing this like trying to create her evening ritual, and she was talking to me about creating a bath ritual and what she meant was just like taking a bath every night and becomes a ritual. But like I was like, oh, I can't take a bath. I live in New York and I don't have a bath. I have a bathtub, but like it was dirty and I didn't want to clean it and like it's small, you know. But I was like, meh, that's not gonna work for me. I don't take showers at night and so I like blew it off.
Speaker 2:
But the more I thought about it it was like you know, that could be really cool to create, like what is there something about bath rituals? So I did a little bit of like research and I kind of like I thought there's got to be rituals like within, old, like tribal things or even some like ancient, like Chinese medicine stuff and like and I didn't research far because I was like just was like a curious type of thing and then I let it go completely, like completely, and I don't know why it hit me recently. I was like it was in January. I was like, oh my gosh, the bath ritual. Like well, what was it? There was. I started taking baths. I don't know why, but I did like a deep clean of my tub and like yeah, and you just randomly started doing it again.
Speaker 2:
I want to start doing this and so I did, and I have not made it a regular nightly practice, which would be awesome, but I just don't feel like I have that kind of time at night. So, but like, I'll figure that out, cause it is something that I really do enjoy doing, especially like with the candle and some bubbles and some essential oils or something like that. And I just had this thought and was like, oh my God, like what an amazing way to take care of yourself. And I'd been having a conversation with a client who was having trouble with accepting the shape of her body. And I know from my experience and my massive weight loss we've talked about this so often when people have massive weight loss, their bodies, like they can literally look at themselves. And this is what I did.
Speaker 2:
I went from a size four or sorry, from a size 22 to a size four. So when I was in my clothes, I loved the way I looked, but when I took my clothes off and I'd look at myself naked in the mirror, all I saw was that 300 pound girl, the size 28, because there's still skin and there's still sag, and it's not this tight, fit body that you would hope to have to be able to claim I fit into a size four, you know, and it's a mental thing, it's a total mental thing. And I was talking to another friend who was like you have the power to release that. Like that's where we can get really woo about how much control we have about, like, changing the structure of our body and stuff. But, and I was like that's interesting.
Speaker 2:
So I started like going on my kick about wanting to make sure that people love themselves where they are and I realized that like you're not doing that, how can you preach to other people to do that when you aren't doing nothing but criticizing this skin and this tummy that you have, and you're like you know saggy boobs and you know flappy arms, and it's like okay. So first thing I have to do is start loving myself, and so I would literally look myself in the mirror and like lift up my breasts or like hold on to my tummy and like rub it and say you know, thank you, thank you for being here. You protected me from a lot of things I was afraid of for a really long time.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
I'm sorry for hating you, I'm sorry for criticizing you constantly and for speaking so ill of you. Forgive me, and I forgive you for not being what I wanted you to be, but I love you.
Speaker 1:
I remember when you started that that was massive and a huge shift for you.
Speaker 2:
Huge. And going back to what we were saying before, not exactly easy no, not exactly to believe those words, but when you look at them and you realize the truth in them, like how amazing it is that my skin stretched to accommodate my trauma, that, like, my body continued to function so well, that, like, despite the weight, like to the appreciation that you can actually have for your body. And I gotta be honest with you, I used to always say I have a love hate relationship with my breasts, because I hate them but everybody else loves them. You know what I mean, because they're not small and I've come to a place where it's like I actually really appreciate you. You know what I mean and like to be able to hold them and touch them and say thank you, because you know that you are a part of me, you are me and I love me. So guess what? I love you too, you know. And it's so easy to just flippantly say, it's not easy to look yourself in the mirror and say that and meet it.
Speaker 2:
And so I had started that. And then I thought, oh my God, imagine doing that in the bath. And so I was like, huh, that's an interesting thought. And so then I was like I think I wanna do this. And then it was like this February is the perfect time to fall in love with yourself. We put all our focus on loving our partners or finding love or you know, all the little cupid shit. But actually let's start here, because you and I both know that the way to truly love the people in your life is to start by loving yourself. And so if I can love me, then the capacity of love I could have for other people is magnified 10 fold.
Speaker 2:
So, anyway, I took a bath and I like thought what would this look like? How would I do this? And I did it and I walked, I'd like talk to myself, and I like literally caressed different parts of my body, gave myself massages in places, talked to my arms and my elbows and my breasts and my chest and my lungs and my throat. I sent myself love. I talked to my like everything. I talked to every part of me and I was like it was beautiful, it felt so good. I mean, taking a bath is relaxing to most people anyway. And then doing that and being able to literally start from a place of gratitude and moving into forgiveness and then moving into love in that kind of ease and relaxed space. It was really powerful and so I thought, okay, this is it. And so I put together what I'm calling Fall in Love with Yourself Bath Ritual, and I love it. I'm really excited about it.
Speaker 1:
And put it out on you. It sounds amazing, do you? How do you feel like let's say that someone really does. They don't love themselves and they don't. How do you feel like it'll be for them to dive right into that?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I like there's a little bit of an intro and I do talk about that and I do talk about how this is a journey and that you are in this process. We are actually pouring love into ourselves and I'm asking people to stay open and that we're gonna be using words, even like love, that we don't typically use when we're talking about our bodies, and so I ask that you say it anyway, because eventually you will start to believe it, and then I can't even tell you how your body will respond, whether that's your skin tightening or even just a contentment. But if you feel too uncomfortable, then that's okay. It just means that self love is just a little bit too far of a destination today, and that's okay. So let's just shift our perspective from one of self love to one of self acceptance and then, as we go through it, if you're not comfortable saying those words in your mind or out loud, that's okay.
Speaker 2:
Just listen, just absorb. If you're not comfortable giving yourself a hug or rubbing your chest or whatever I'm asking you to do, that's okay. Just absorb, just listen, just be in that space, because I'm really hoping and I do believe that, because this was written with love, with so much love and a desire for people to find that love in themselves that we're creating that container. Every time somebody plays that, that bathroom becomes a container so full of love that just sitting in that is going to have some sort of impact. And again, it's a process. So let's just start there, just lie down, enjoy your bath and listen, and then the next time you listen to it maybe caress along with us, maybe say as much as you can.
Speaker 1:
A beautiful guided meditation set to music that they can just listen to and really absorb and take in, and it sounds beautiful.
Speaker 2:
I'm really excited about it and I'm so confident it's going to have massive impact if people are open to it, because it's not very often that you hear about a bath ritual. You know what I mean, yeah no, not at all.
Speaker 1:
It's an amazing idea and I'm excited to try it myself.
Speaker 2:
Yay, I'll send it to you right away. I'm really excited about it. And for people who don't have bathtubs, I was thinking I was like, well, it'll work in the shower. I'm not so sure, I don't know. Let's give it a shot. I should try it in the shower and see what happens. I think it's possible.
Speaker 2:
It's a lot more standing around. You know what I mean, because there's times where we're going to relax in the bath and breathe. You know what I mean, especially when there are some times where I feel like I'm tackling a little bit of harder parts of the body for us to love and accept, and whether that's because there's a lot of shame built around them, societally or generationally or whatever that is, I just feel like there's some areas, especially in a female body, that is racked with trauma, whether we like it or not, and so there are some times that I want to breathe through that. Or there's problem areas that I know that I don't know very many women who love their upper arms. Let's just be honest. Yeah, that's true. So talk into your upper arm and telling your flappy skin that you love it that's challenging. So let's take a minute here to breathe and get ready for that and feel comfortable with what we've just said, and then we can move on. You know what I mean. So there are some pausing times, and I'm not sure how well that will translate to a shower.
Speaker 2:
The other thing that I'm curious about I actually want one of my male friends to try it, because, while this is very much geared to a female body because I am talking about breasts, I am talking about vulvas, I'm talking about your womb and things like that I still think it can be impactful for a man, because men have breasts we just don't call them that and men have penises instead of vulvas, and so it's like let's just replace one word with the other, but the intention is still the same. Even though men don't have wombs, I still believe that sacral area is a creative center, just like our womb is. That area is still very creative for a man. So that's my belief. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, Well, I almost wonder if, after talking to a male friend or getting that feedback, I wonder if you might even do one for men.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah, maybe I'm not as familiar with a man's trauma, but, hell, I can do plenty of research. Yeah, there are many people who talk to me about that, I'm sure. But yeah, so those are the two things that I'm like. I'm not sure how these two things will work, but I'm confident that they will. And as much as that whole thing of like take what works and leave what doesn't doesn't mean it's not for you just because that piece of it doesn't fit, it means like there's a lot in here for you to absorb, even, like I said, lying in that container of or laying in that container of love, that's going to impact anybody, I don't care. Listening to this while you're showering in a container of love is going to have an impact, whether you're soaking with us or not. You know Right.
Speaker 1:
Well, I mean I might be the only one, but I have sat in the shower before plenty of times in my life.
Speaker 2:
There you go. You are definitely not the only one, not at all. I don't know.
Speaker 1:
I have sat and shaved my legs and all kind of you know, I'm not totally alternative. Yeah no, not at all. But yeah, you're right. I think even if you were just taking in the meditation while you're showering, even if you're standing, it sounds like it's. I mean, it sounds beautiful and I can't imagine it wouldn't also be impactful not in the water, you know, not laying in the water, right, I'm sure You're just putting your arms around your like you're lay in the bed.
Speaker 2:
If you don't do it in the shower, Do it in the bed, and like I'm inviting people to bring in a candle and to turn off most of the lights, I'm kind of thinking I need to have like a warning Do not fall asleep doing you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2:
You are going to be in a very relaxed state and I don't want anybody falling asleep in the tub.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
But like that's where I feel like let's get into the most yummy place possible, get your favorite bubble bath. What are they called? The fizzers, the little bath fizzes or bath bombs and stuff like that, whatever like fragrances, have a candle burning, like and then have oils or whatever, exactly have a fluffy towel ready, have your yummiest lotion ready and this is going to.
Speaker 2:
we're going to take an hour, you know. Give yourself an hour to like draw the bath that you want, do this ritual, rinse off, take time to put like it continued slow motion, slow movements Like rub the lotion onto your body and feel it. You know, absolutely.
Speaker 1:
And you don't even have to have it. Be okay, this is what you're going to do at nighttime. I mean, sometimes I'll come home from a walk and I'll go take a bath. I'll go take a bubble bath, you know, or maybe it's in the morning, before you start your day, or as your kids are napping or at school or whatever, and you're like I'm going to take an hour in the middle of my day to go do this.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely, you take the time when you can and I am saying give yourself an hour, but you know what, Do it yourself for Valentine's Day. I'm not going to say I'm not going to make any promises, but like I feel like this is going to put people in an absolute state of relaxed bliss which, in my opinion, you're going to have some great sex that night. I mean because not only are you like blissed out, but also like you love yourself and like that means that's your partner.
Speaker 2:
And when you love yourself, so does everybody around you. So your partner is going to be like what happened to you. I want some.
Speaker 1:
Loving on you and loving on them, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2:
And you're going to be like I'm too tired, I'm too relaxed. No, I'm just kidding. I think that it will provide an amazing sense of like love and bliss. I'm really excited about it. Can you tell?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, no, that sounds amazing, sounds amazing.
Speaker 2:
That drops tomorrow. Tomorrow is February 10th.
Speaker 1:
Yes, this will be airing in a couple of days, okay, so before.
Speaker 2:
Valentine's Day Drop a couple of days ago.
Speaker 1:
Yes, and we will have all the links available in the show notes so that people can connect with you, and obviously they can always connect with you on the Life After Breath podcast.
Speaker 2:
Yes, yes, every day. I'm there every day.
Speaker 1:
Thank you for coming and hanging out with us again. Thank you.
Speaker 2:
Thank you for letting me talk about one of my favorite subjects Loving myself. No, you know what I love you too. I love you too.
Speaker 1:
And it's not a bad thing to love ourselves. No, it absolutely is not no. And when we love, like we said, when you're loving on yourself, you're loving on everybody else.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely, Absolutely. I love you Miss.
Speaker 1:
I love you Talk soon, all right.
Speaker 2:
Love you.
Speaker 1:
Thank you so much for joining us for the episode with Julia. It was so funny. You cannot make this shit up. I had to come back and say I was driving home from work after we recorded and the song Lose Control by Teddy Swims was on one of those playlists. I mean seriously, you cannot make this up. I had never heard of Teddy Swims, had never heard of that song and we had talked about it earlier on the show and I literally heard it on my way home. I mean seriously, seriously. These things don't just happen. Our thoughts, our words, they are powerful, powerful things. But it was just funny to me because it was literally on one of the playlists that we were talking about and I didn't even know it because I hadn't made it that far. But I had to share that as a little follow up to the end of this episode of a beautiful, beautiful day. Thank you so much for watching.