Why Nobody Cares About How You Feel

Sometimes we say things that can unintentionally trigger people.   On today's podcast, you'll hear an excerpt from a live Q&A where I made a statement and later realized the power behind it... It's a journey through the highs and lows of life, exploring how to claim ownership of our emotions and find joy, irrespective of the external chaos. Join me as I unpack the nuances of nurturing one's soul and the sheer beauty of cultivating personal well-being.

But we won't stop at reflection; we're about stepping into action, together. I'm thrilled to invite you to not only listen but to share your stories and wisdom within our Pure Possibilities community. Let's build connections that matter in our private Facebook group and gear up for the Mindset Magic FREE Monthly Group Coaching, where we'll harness the collective energy of like-minded souls committed to growth. Remember, April 17th, I can't wait to support you on this path to emotional empowerment and clarity. This is more than a conversation; it's a collective leap into a life of intention and heart-led living.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:34

Welcome back to the show. I have been so excited to do this recording all day long. I was taking a shower this morning, as I do every day, and listening to music and shaking my booty like I do, and some of my best ideas come to me when I'm in the shower. The water was flowing and I decided that I wanted to talk about a few things that are on my heart today. So you're getting a solo episode today because I have a few things to chat about. I want to chat about what I know to be true, and I actually wanted to get started first with sharing a clip from a live Q&A I did yesterday in the Pure Possibilities private Facebook community. I do live Q&As every single week and yesterday some really good conversation happened. I mean, there's always good conversation, but some interesting things came up and I made a statement that I actually had a couple of people come back to me and ask me about, and so I get curious about things and I was asking myself. I'm like is this really true? Do I believe this to be true? And I do, so I'm going to share this clip and have a listen, and then I'm going to explain where I'm coming from with this thought.

Speaker 1: 2:04

Is the energy comment helpful or would you like me to expand? I mean, it's literally about caring how I feel, because, honestly, nobody else really cares about how I feel. Do you know what I mean? Like people don't. Everybody doesn't always care about how you feel. So you know what I mean. Like people don't, everybody doesn't always care about how you feel. So who else is going to care about how you feel than you? Like you're the most important person. So caring about how you feel and then actually doing something about it to make yourself feel better and knowing what those things are is one of the most important things because, literally, it's it's you, it's your life, it's your vibration, it's your energy and how you feel. You know it's not like we're trying to just pretend like crap isn't going on, because it's always going to be going on. But how can I, how can I make myself feel better in this moment, even if it's just for a moment, to I don't know feel good, because that's what matters.

Speaker 1: 3:03

So I said no one cares about how I feel and nobody cares about how you feel. Why do I believe that to be true? I absolutely know that I have people in my life that love me and care about me, but they don't always care about how I feel. And why do I say that Until the time I go to bed? To make sure that I'm not stressed out, that I'm in a good mood, that I don't have any pain, stress or struggles throughout my entire day? Would you do that? Probably not. It's my job. It is my job to care about how I feel. It is not fair to put that responsibility onto anybody else. So my job is to find things that I can do throughout my day to make myself feel as good as possible, to learn how to navigate through those ups and downs, to set my intention of how I want to feel throughout my day when I wake up and have a plan of how I'm going to respond to things that are not necessarily going the way I want them to.

Speaker 1: 4:32

There will always always be things going on in your life that are out of your control. So when I say that people don't care about how I feel, it's because everyone in my life is not sitting there being worried about how my day is going. Everybody has all of their own shit going on every single day, so we are not always worried about how other people feel. It's not your job to know everything that triggers me. It's not your job to protect me. There is no way you could know that having a conversation about something might trigger me because you don't know everything about what I've been through in my life. I know what triggers me. Sometimes I find out later on that something triggered me and I'm like huh, where did that come from? Sometimes things that I feel like I've healed trigger me and then I get curious and I work through it.

Speaker 1: 5:38

But there's no way. There's no way that you can care about how everybody feels in your life every single day. I know that I have to take ownership of my thoughts, my feelings and my emotions on a daily basis. It is nobody's responsibility and honestly, I do not want to have that responsibility for other people I love deeply and passionately and I do care about people with all my heart. I really do but it's not my job to make sure that you can get through your day. I can offer you tools and suggestions of things that you can try or that you may want to do, but it's not necessarily going to work for you. You may want to tweak things to what works best for you, because we're all unique. We are all unique, but it's my job and it's your job to do whatever you can to make yourself feel as good as you can throughout every single day, and not only care about how you feel but actually do something about it. You are important and your life is important and it is your life. So, whatever you can do to feel good throughout your day, even if it's just pockets, moments throughout the day, that's what's most important. Maybe it's stopping and taking a deep breath, maybe it's connecting with a friend. You know only you know what will make you feel good, but there's always going to be things going on out of your control, always.

Speaker 1: 7:18

It's pretty much taken me my whole life to like really get that, like, oh yeah, like I think that I've worked through something and then something happens around me and I'm like, well, shit, and then I get curious and I work through it again. You know, but every time, every time you're working on something or navigating through it, it's like you always have the opportunity to learn and grow from those experiences that are happening. That's been going on in my life for a bit and it's finally resolved itself that, wow, so many triggers and so much personal growth all at the same time. So it's just really learning what works for you to help you get through those things, and sometimes that means opening up and getting vulnerable and asking for help, which is really important, just like Patrick was talking about on the episode that came out last week, talking about people sharing their stories and talking about the whiteboard opportunity to change things or shift things in our life if we want to.

Speaker 1: 8:34

But caring about how you feel and actually doing something about it is important. It's interesting, as I'm looking at my list not looking outside of yourself for happiness, allowing time for rest, getting uncomfortable, creating a pause and caring about how I feel. Those are the most important things that I have realized over the last year and a half. I mean some of it is kind of built up over the last few years as I've really been focusing on getting in tune with myself and learning things that I like and that I don't like, but it's all really linked together. I mean not looking outside of yourself, for happiness kind of goes along with other people.

Speaker 1: 9:25

Don't care about how you feel. You know what I mean. So it's my job to create happiness within me and to have people in my life that contribute to my happiness, not be solely responsible for it. I allowed other people to be solely responsible for my happiness. They didn't even know it and at the time I honestly didn't know it and at the time I honestly didn't know it. But then, when they left, I was a wreck. And so when you can care about how you feel, find things that make you feel good and be in tune with yourself and work through those things, people come and go, just like there will always be things going on in your life that are out of your control. People will come and go they do and when they leave it's not always easy. But when you can do things to create your happiness and fulfillment within yourself, then you don't feel as lost, you don't feel as empty. You don't because people come into our lives for I mean, you hear this all the time, you know for a reason, a season I don't remember what the other one is a lesson, a reason or a season. I don't remember exactly how it goes, but something like that. But that's just how life works. We can't hold on to people and make them stay. Sometimes they leave because they pass away. Sometimes they leave because they just move on. Sometimes people come into your life unexpectedly and surprise you and you feel like you've known them forever and they become a really important person in your life, like instantaneously, and so you just flow. You just flow with it.

Speaker 1: 11:21

Allowing time for rest that kind of falls into the really giving yourself permission. I've been going through some stuff over the last several months, as I mentioned, I had moments where, like I would come home and it would be like six o'clock and I would come home and I would have dinner and I would go to bed, and I know that everybody isn't always able to do that. My schedule, fortunately, would allow for that. But if you need rest and maybe you have young kids or you aren't able to do that, reach out and ask somebody for help If you feel like you're in a space where you really need that rest. We have to listen to our bodies and rest when we need it and ask for help sometimes when we need that time. Or maybe it's just taking a few minutes and taking a bath, or staying in your car for an extra five minutes when you get home before you walk into the house, creating a pause. That's another one on my list and my what if questions? Those are huge for me. I share that all the time, I know. But those have been massively impactful on my life and, again, caring about how I feel, I ask myself those what if questions? And they make me smile and they make me happy and they help to keep my brain from overthinking all the time I'm definitely an overthinker help to keep my brain from overthinking all the time. I'm definitely an overthinker. So I also need these things to kind of stop that.

Speaker 1: 12:55

Sometimes Getting uncomfortable that's been a big one. I know I talk about that a lot too, because nobody really likes to be uncomfortable. But when I make myself uncomfortable, good things always come from it. I never would have thought that I would be doing a podcast. I never would have thought there's the list. Now I'm realizing all the things I was missing out on and I'm like, oh, this is fun, this is your weekly reminder. This is your life and you get to decide. Doesn't always feel like it, but you do. And you get to decide what feels good to you and what you enjoy doing. And people in your life, the ones that really love you, the ones that really care about you, they'll be supportive. They may not necessarily like what you're doing in the moment, but I find that most of the time not necessarily all of the time, but most of the time when that happens, it's because somebody is stretching themselves and it makes the people around them uncomfortable for a couple of reasons themselves to do the things or take the risk or do whatever you're doing, and so it makes them uncomfortable. So they project that onto you, or they wish they had the guts to do that, to take that leap, to take that step. And they do have it within them. They just don't have the confidence enough to do it. That's another thing. Confidence, courage and clarity all come after action. It doesn't even have to be a big action, but when you take a step, all of those things can happen.

Speaker 1: 14:56

Today, I would like to leave you with a thought. What is something that you know to be true? I would love to hear from you something that you know to be true, or maybe something that you would like me to talk about on the show. So drop me a message on Facebook or Instagram or reach out on my website If you would like to join the Pure Possibilities private Facebook community. The link for that is in the show description. Mindset Magic is coming up. That's my free monthly coaching session. The next one is on April 17th. You can go to my website, purepossibilitiesnet, and register there, and I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful day. Much love.