Embracing Vulnerability: Forgiveness and Trust on the Personal Growth Journey

In this episode, I am back after a brief illness and some travel to share a previously recorded, tear-inducing (for me) episode centered on personal growth. Reflecting on my recent journey and realizations, I discuss the importance of vulnerability, forgiveness, and trust. Emphasizing the significance of allowing oneself to receive from others, despite past hurts and the instinct to remain guarded, I provide insights into self-trust and the process of healing.  Listeners are encouraged to embrace their growth journeys and the profound peace that comes from self-forgiveness.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:33

Welcome back to the show. I have been sick for the last few days, so please forgive my voice. I was sitting down testing out some new headphones and a new setup that I've got going on here and I came across an episode that I recorded right after the last one and I hadn't planned to use it because at the time it didn't. I don't know, I was just kind of on a roll and had ideas and thoughts flowing through me and then I was like meh, I don't think I'm going to share that episode. And then I just sat here and listened back to it and started getting all teary. So apparently it's an episode that needs to be shared because someone needs to hear it and it even gets me all teary thinking about it. So it bringing up those emotions and tears within me is a beautiful sign that it's a message that somebody needs to hear. So I don't know if that's you or not, but I'm going to share that episode right after this. It's interesting, even just since I recorded that episode it was like 10 days ago, and I have had so many epiphanies and things coming up for me because I've been doing a lot of the work, and it's interesting to just even listen back to 10 days ago and where I was and thinking about the things that I've been uncovering and discovering about myself over just the last week and a half. This is such a beautiful journey should you choose to go on it. This is such a beautiful journey Should you choose to go on it. The more we get to know ourselves, it's a really, really beautiful thing. I have so much to share from my recent trip to California, and I was at a podcasting summit and I'll share all of that in another episode, because this one is just going to be special all on its own. Welcome back to the show. Just another friendly reminder If you want to reach out, you can now text me. There is a link in the show description of every single episode and you can reach out if you have any questions or if you are interested in I don't know giving me some feedback, anything you want to share. Whatever, you can do that in the show description. Just click on the link. And just another friendly reminder. It is a one way situation, so send me a message, but I can respond to you on the show, so I would love to hear from you.

Speaker 1: 3:17

On last week's episode, I talked about the personal growth journey and I want to talk a little bit more about that and also opening ourselves up to receive. As I mentioned, that is something that's come up for me recently and really, you know, whether it's allowing somebody to buy you a coffee or, you know, do something for you. I am often in service of other people and it fills my heart up and it brings me joy to do that, but I have discovered that I have some walls up when it comes to actually receiving, and I think that's pretty common for a lot of people. But one thing that's come up for me is that when we don't allow other people to do things for us, who are we to take that away from them? Do you know what I mean? Like it makes me feel good to do things for other people, but if someone won't allow me to take them to dinner and treat them or buy them a coffee or just do something for them, it kind of makes me not feel so good, you know, because I want to share the love and spread the love and do whatever, because it makes me feel good, and so if other people don't allow me to do that, like I said, it doesn't always feel good, and so I had to remind myself of that, that sometimes people might actually want to do something for me, and who am I to take that away from them? So that's something that I wanted to mention about allowing ourselves to receive. So that's something that I wanted to mention about allowing ourselves to receive.

Speaker 1: 5:00

But one of the reasons I think I have a wall up is because I don't always trust, and I don't know how you are with trust, but I've had some things happen in my life where opening myself up and being vulnerable with people has been difficult because I've been hurt, and when we open ourselves up to being vulnerable with people, that also opens up the possibility of being hurt again. But we're always okay. We're always okay, and you know, I have talked before about looking outside of myself for my happiness, and when you do that, if someone leaves, then they're taking that piece of you with them, and so for me to put trust and faith in other people, I've realized it's not that I know I won't be okay, it's more a trust issue. Is that person able to be there for me when I need them? Will they leave? Will they run away? It's interesting because, like I said, I've, you know, I've obviously been hurt by people. Whether it was intentional or unintentional, it doesn't matter. There's hurt and I know that I've hurt other people too.

Speaker 1: 6:49

But it first started for me with forgiving people that had hurt me or unintentionally. You know, whether it was, like I said, intentional or unintentional, and that forgiveness isn't for them. When we forgive someone, it's to bring peace for us, bring peace to ourselves. It's not for them, it's for us. And when I did that practice of I mean I had forgiven some people that had hurt me long before I really got deep into my personal growth journey. But when I was really intentional about sitting down and making a list of people who had hurt me, whether it was intentional or unintentional, and then I included myself in that list, that was pretty big because I've done a lot of things.

Speaker 1: 8:03

But I was talking with a friend the other day and they had said have you forgiven yourself? And I had to really think about that. We were talking about a specific situation from my childhood and I don't know that I have and I don't even, honestly, I don't even know if it really needs to be forgiveness. But forgiveness and trust. I mean somebody mentioned to me recently all trust is self-trust. Somebody mentioned to me recently all trust is self-trust, and so I don't even know that it's necessarily that I don't trust other people. I don't know that I always trust myself. I don't always trust myself and the decisions that I make, because I haven't always made the best decisions, and so if I keep my wall up and I don't allow people in, then that keeps me safe.

Speaker 1: 9:15

Right, it's very interesting, thank you. It's all a process, the growth and expansion process. It's not always an easy one, but, boy, when you're taking a look at your shit, it can be really good. It can be really beautiful. Really good, it can be really beautiful. And when you sit with those feelings and process them and move through them and learn from them, that gives you the opportunity to change behaviors and make different decisions. Forgiveness and trust and guilt and shame that's all the shit that weighs us down, you know.

Speaker 1: 10:10

And so when we can really look into it and process it and move it through our body, it was mentioned to me recently that it might be a good idea to do like a rage room. I've never done one of those before and I actually thought about inviting my son to go with me because, you know, I feel like we have built up rage in our bodies that once we express it, it can feel very freeing. I believe, like I said, I've never done it before I do have a friend that does like a rage yoga. It's not actually rage yoga, it's something else. So I'm also going to look into that because I think that would be fun to really express and get that energy out of my body and see what happens.

Speaker 1: 10:56

So, anyway, I just wanted to touch on trust and forgiveness and how important they really are, and again, it's not for other people, it's for us. It's for us, it's for you. We forgive others to bring ourselves peace. It has nothing to do with them and as you move on, you get to know yourself and can learn to be more vulnerable and authentic and true and allow people the opportunity to get to know who you really are. When we spend time pleasing other people and doing things for everybody else, they don't get a chance to know who we are. Just some random thoughts I was having that I wanted to share. Thank you so much for listening and I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful day. Much love.