You Don't Have to Be Available to Everyone ALL the Time

Ever feel like you're constantly tethered to your phone, responding to messages and notifications without a moment's peace? Discover how you can reclaim your time and serenity in our latest episode of the Pure Possibilities podcast. We explore the transformative power of setting boundaries with technology.   Learn how tools like the Do Not Disturb function can help you prioritize personal time and minimize distractions, ensuring you aren’t accessible to everyone all the time. We discuss the art of turning off notifications, not taking delayed responses personally, and valuing your own time as much as your work time. 

Tune in as I share my personal experiences and tips, encouraging you to practice this mindset for a more peaceful and fulfilling life. Don't hesitate to reach out and share your own strategies for maintaining peace and setting boundaries—let's support each other in this journey.

Chapters

• 0:00 Choosing to Protect Your Peace
• 7:52 Empowerment Through Choice

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:33

Welcome back to the Pure Possibilities podcast. I am so thankful that you're choosing to spend your time hanging out with me. I'm gonna shuffle the magic of what if? Card deck, but before I pull a card, I am so excited to talk about this. It's so funny. Sometimes things come up for me and I'm just like oh my gosh, I can't wait to share about this.

Speaker 1: 0:57

Okay, so what if I told you that you don't have to make yourself accessible to everyone all the time? How does that feel when I say that to you? Like, close your eyes and take a deep breath and let it out and say I don't have to make myself available to everyone all the time. How does that feel? It feels kind of good for me, but it's something that takes a little bit of getting used to, because what's going to happen if you're not available to everyone all the time? For me, that was kind of a people-pleasing behavior. What if I don't respond to them right away? What are they going to think of me? Oh my gosh, what if I miss out on an opportunity for something? What if, who knows, you could go down such a rabbit hole with all of that? And you don't have to. You get to choose. You get to choose how you spend your time. You get to choose who you're available for and what you're available for.

Speaker 1: 2:05

So I'm going to share a couple of things that I've done to, I don't know, protect my peace a little bit and take back a little bit of power and a little bit of control over my life. So one thing I do is I have become a huge fan of Do Not Disturb. I have an iPhone I'm not sure what that functionality is available on other phones, I assume it is but I have fallen in love with Do Not Disturb and I use it overnight, I use it throughout various points of my day, and you can program favorites and so, for example, like my son is in my favorites list and so when he reaches out to me, I'm available for him. I will always be available for my son, whether it's an emergency or not. That's a choice that I make because I want to be available for him. However, I don't need to be available for everyone all the time. So I get to choose and if I'm in the middle of something, I will get back to the person when it's convenient for me.

Speaker 1: 3:13

I am choosing to prioritize my priorities, not that the people in my life. It doesn't mean I don't love them any less because I have my phone on do not disturb and they might not happen to be in my favorites list. What it means is that I'm choosing how to spend my time. Another thing I do I turn off notifications, like in messenger. I turned off notifications there. I have notifications turned off on my email, so it's not like dinging, dinging, dinging off notifications there. I have notifications turned off on my email, so it's not like dinging, dinging, dinging all the time. So then I can choose when I'm going to look at my email, because all of these little things distract me.

Speaker 1: 3:49

I am easily distracted and so by choosing to put my phone on do not disturb, by choosing to silence my notifications, allow me to decide, because I don't have to be available for everyone 100% of the time. And, honestly, do you expect other people to be available for you 100% of the time? Because I don't. If someone takes their time getting back to me, I assume that they're busy. I don't assume that they don't like me and don't want to respond to me. I assume that they must have had something come up. I don't just automatically assume that I did something wrong, because it's not always about me and most of the time it's not about me. So those have been some things that have really helped me to feel more in control of my life and my decisions, and I get to decide.

Speaker 1: 4:47

I know several people that utilize the do not disturb function on their phone while they're at work. So a question I have for you is if you choose to use do not disturb while you're working, do you also choose to use it on your personal time? This is a question out of a space of curiosity, not judgment. I'm curious Are you prioritizing your work over your personal time? Because if do not disturb is important enough during work hours, isn't it also important enough for you and your time? And you are precious and you deserve to not be interrupted or disturbed while you're doing whatever you're doing, taking care of whatever you need to take care of, whatever is important to you and for you?

Speaker 1: 5:40

I'll put my phone on do not disturb when I'm out to dinner with a friend, because I don't want to be bothered. I want to be present. I want to be in the moment. I do, however, still have my alarm set to go off. So those do go off every hour and they have my what if? Questions on them.

Speaker 1: 5:54

But that is for me. Those notifications are for me to check in with myself because, let's be real, depending on this is a whole other thing. You know, I wake up in the morning and I meditate and I do my morning routine and I have my evening routine. But if I'm not staying connected to myself throughout my day and the rest of it doesn't matter. If you start your day and end your day but the rest of it in the middle is a bunch of shit, then why even do the other things? So there you have it. There's my little. Protect your peace. You don't have to be available for everyone all the time.

Speaker 1: 6:29

And if that feels uncomfortable for you, just a reminder just because it's uncomfortable doesn't mean it's wrong, it's just unfamiliar. So maybe give it a try. Give it a try for a couple of days and see, I'm telling you I fell in love with. Do Not Disturb. I'm like this is freaking amazing. All right, I'm going to pull a card from the magic of what if card deck. Here we go.

Speaker 1: 6:55

What if I allow myself to follow the desires of my heart and soul? That's a juicy one. I love that. They're all juicy and delicious and make me feel good. What if I allow myself to follow the desires of my heart and soul? This is your life. Follow the things that feel good to you and your body and those things that are like a hell. Yes, follow those desires. We are here to grow and expand and live and have fun and be in joy as often as we possibly can, and not only be in joy as often as we possibly can, but to live and allow all of the experiences that are happening in our lives to learn from those experiences. Learn the lessons that we need to learn to continue to grow and evolve and expand. You know that's another thing.

Speaker 1: 7:53

When it comes to protecting your peace and allowing yourselves to be available and choosing who has access to you, you get to choose that too. Like we feel like we don't have any power, any control, but we totally do, you get to decide. You get to decide whose messages you're going to respond to. You get to decide who you're going to spend your time with. You get to decide if someone invites you somewhere and maybe you're not really interested in going. If you don't feel comfortable saying that right out of the gate, allow yourself a pause and say, let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you and then you can think about it and if it's something that you're like, oh, this feels good to me, if it's a hell yes, then just say yes right away. But if it's not a hell yes, you know, get curious with yourself as to the reason. Maybe you're not interested in doing that, and then you get to make the choice. You get to make the choice if that's something that you want to do or something that you don't feel like doing.

Speaker 1: 8:57

We give away our power so much in our lives and we like to act or believe that we don't get to choose, when really, honestly, we do. Everything is a choice, everything is a choice. Once you decide that everything is a choice, it changes everything, changes everything. We all know that I haven't always lived my life like this, but it really. When I realized that I get to decide all these things in my life, it really changed things for me.

Speaker 1: 9:32

And everything isn't sunshine and roses every single day, but I am paying attention and I'm aware and I am consistently reminding myself and asking myself questions like is this something that I wanna do? Do I feel like doing this? How does this feel in my body and things like that, and it takes time and practice. If it's something that you choose to do, because you always get to choose. Well, my friends, that is what I've got for you today, so reach out, send me a text there is a link in the show description where you can text me and I would love to know what do you do to protect your peace and allow yourself to not be available to everyone 100% of the time. I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful day and an amazing week. Much love.