Permission to Feel: Navigating Joy and Sadness Together

What if you could find joy even when life feels heavy? That's exactly what we're exploring in this episode of the Pure Possibilities podcast. Together, let's unlock the magic of everyday moments that can lift your spirits, even amidst sadness. Learn how simple pleasures, like the scent of your favorite candle or the rhythm of your breath, can anchor and comfort you during challenging times. We share practical strategies to help you embrace joy alongside other emotions, ensuring that you stay grounded and connected to the present, especially during emotionally charged periods like the holidays.

But that's not all. We're also diving into the transformative power of personal responsibility. It's easy to point fingers at external circumstances, but what if the key to a fulfilling life lies within your own choices? We'll guide you through shifting from a victim mindset to one of empowerment, allowing you to take control of your life's path. From improving health to nurturing relationships, taking small, intentional steps opens the door to profound personal growth. Join us for an enriching conversation that encourages you to seize control of your life and discover the fulfillment that comes with true ownership.

Chapters

• 0:00 Finding Joy in Everyday Moments
• 10:58 Taking Personal Responsibility for Your Life

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:34

Welcome back to the Pure Possibilities podcast. This week I'm going to share a clip from last week's weekly Q&A in the Pure Possibilities podcast private Facebook community. It was an excellent question that I feel like will be very helpful for many people this time of year and really just in general with life, and that's what we talk about here. If you'd like to join the Pure Possibilities private Facebook community, there is a link in the show description that you can go ahead and click and there's just a few questions that you need to answer to come into the community. And if you'd like to do that, every single week I go in and do a Q&A. There's coaching opportunities if you have anything that you're looking to work through, and it's a great place of support. So if you'd like to join us, please do. All right, we're going to go ahead and listen to the clip. Okay, so let's just dive right in with the question that I have. Okay, so it says I won't be able to make it, but my question is is there a secret to noticing and allowing yourself to feel simple pleasures when we're in a place where almost everything feels heavy, feels like there are a lot of tools and it would be different for different experiences, but interested in your thoughts about feeling joy when sadness or other feelings are pervasive. Feeling joy when sadness or other feelings are pervasive. That is an excellent question and, like I said, thank you for asking that question, because I imagine that you are not the only one that feels that way, and I feel that way sometimes too, and so I'm sending you lots of love and big, gigantic hugs across the country, and so I have a few thoughts that I wanted to share that came up for me when I read your question. I think one of the most important things is to remember that it's okay for both to be happening. You can feel joy and sadness and grief. They can coexist with each other, and I think that sometimes that doesn't always feel that way and giving yourself compassion for how you're feeling and not judging yourself for whatever you're feeling.

Speaker 1: 2:55

I have been pretty intentional over the last I don't know how long with finding things and allowing myself, giving myself permission. So maybe give yourself permission to feel some joy, and it doesn't have to be I know I say this a lot but it doesn't have to be like big, monstrous things. Literally, this candle just smelling it makes me feel good. It doesn't take away from anything else that's going on around me, in my world, outside of this present moment, but this makes me feel good, and so prioritizing how you feel, and so how you feel isn't necessarily going to change all of the outside circumstances that are going on, but you get to choose how you want to feel in any given moment, and so reminding yourself of that, giving yourself permission, and then noticing the things around you that make you feel good, and if there isn't something around you that makes you feel good, you know you can make a feel good list of things that you enjoy doing, or being extra intentional with observing the present moment, always breathing, intentional breathing, you know, just closing your eyes, even putting your hand on your heart, and just anything you can do to feel your way through it rather than think your way through it. So just taking a few minutes to just breathe, and if you find that your mind is starting to like grab onto thoughts that you aren't necessarily wanting to be thinking, sometimes I'll like wiggle my toes and that gets me out of my head and into my body. So whatever you can do to get back into your body counting, counting your breath If you're counting, you're not thinking. So those are a couple of ideas.

Speaker 1: 5:00

I was just chatting with a couple of girlfriends through text a little bit ago and one of them used the word luscious and it made me think about how sometimes I will just have words go through my like. I'll just start saying words in my head like joy and peace and ease and juicy and fun and love. And now luscious because I was like, ooh, I love that word luscious, that just make. Ooh, I like that, and so just things like that. And again, it doesn't mean that all the crap going on around me isn't happening, but in this moment it helps me feel better. So I hope that's helpful. Please let me know if you don't feel complete and if there's anything else that I can offer to you. Just a couple of things. You know, maybe you just go out and walk outside or it really comes down to prioritizing yourself and what feels good for you. So I hope that was helpful for you. All right, I wanted to add a little bit to that conversation.

Speaker 1: 6:18

Again, I think this time of year, with the holidays and everything going on, everybody doesn't enjoy the holidays. Some people do, some people don't, some people are missing loved ones or people that they're unable to be with during this time, and just in general. And I think that finding that balance and the duality of our emotions isn't always an easy thing to do, and joy and sadness are not opposite. They're part of the spectrum of what it means to fully be alive. Sometimes joy doesn't feel like laughter, sometimes it just feels like quietly appreciating the moment that you're in, and sometimes that's just enough. I think it's really powerful that sometimes those simple pleasures that we allow ourselves to have are invitations to reconnect with ourselves.

Speaker 1: 7:13

So her question reminded me about how important it is to really start small and engaging in your senses, like noticing the warmth of a cup of coffee or a cup of tea, or maybe hot cocoa this time of year, listening to your favorite song, or even stepping out to feel the sun on your face, if the sun happens to be shining. Those small moments can be really transformative and those little anchors don't negate the harder emotions but act as kind of a touch point of light in a heavy moment. So another thing that I would suggest is approaching the idea of joy with curiosity rather than expectation, asking yourself what would it feel like to lean into something that brings me a moment of comfort right now. What do I need most right now? And trust that you know the answer and feel your way through it. That you know the answer and feel your way through it, as I had mentioned when I responded to that question, is the more you can feel your way through it rather than think your way through it. That's where you're going to find most impact. So maybe it's something like looking at a beautiful flower or the sky, or even just asking that question. What would it feel like to lean into something that brings me a moment of comfort right now? And finally, remember that it's okay to simply pause and not fix. Sometimes, just being with yourself, without judgment, can be one of the most healing things to do. It's not about forcing yourself to feel better, but gently allowing yourself to feel what's already there, even if it's just a small quiet sense of it's okay. It's okay in this moment. Okay, we are going to pull a card from the Magic of what if? Card deck. We're going to pull from volume two, and the decks are available on my website, pure possibilities podcastcom or pure possibilitiesnet.

Speaker 1: 9:23

Today's question what if I take radical personal responsibility for my? What if I take radical personal responsibility for my life. I have found that when I get really honest with myself about where I'm at, what I want, about decisions I've made, where I want to go with my life, what I'm currently doing, decisions I've made, where I want to go with my life, what I'm currently doing, are my actions aligning with the woman that I'm becoming. When I get really honest with myself, that's when the leveling up happens, and sometimes it sucks. Sometimes it sucks to get really honest with yourself about your thoughts, your behaviors, your actions and the decisions that you're making. Sometimes it's like oh shit, what did I do? And you can get radically honest with yourself without judging it, because every moment you have the power to change or make a new decision or make a new choice. It's always up to you and if you are not living the life that you want to be living, you have the power to change that.

Speaker 1: 10:58

Sometimes we say that sometimes it's easier to blame other people and outside circumstances for the life that we're living, when, in fact, we actually get to decide, we get to choose. That's a powerful one, because if you put it all outside of you, then you don't have to take responsibility, but it really is your life and you get to make those decisions and make those changes. And if something isn't the way you want it, then you get to do something about it. It doesn't matter what other people think about how you're living your life or how you want to live your life. Take personal responsibility. If you feel like you want to get healthy, then make a decision to change something. If you decide that you're miserable and unhappy in your relationship, do something about it. It all comes down to us. If there's something in your life that is not, if you are not happy with the way your life is going, you get to decide. You get to choose. Don't put that out on other people.

Speaker 1: 12:26

Is it easier to blame other people for the life that you're living? Is it easier to act as if it's out of your control? Is it easier to be in a victim state? Is that easier? Maybe, maybe it is, but wouldn't it feel amazing to know and to feel like your life is your own? Because it is. What if I take radical personal responsibility for my life? If your life is going down a path and you don't like how it's going, make a decision and take a step. It doesn't have to be a big step, little step. Those steps are empowering and you'll show yourself and prove to yourself how strong you are. I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful day and an amazing week. Much love.