How Do You Anchor Your Core Feelings? - Mini Series #3

Ever wondered how a seemingly ordinary encounter could become a profound life lesson? Let me take you on a journey where an 82-year-old man's brave leap into the world of dating after five decades inspired a renewed perspective on dreams and desires. This episode of the Pure Possibilities podcast is all about anchoring core feelings into our daily lives, especially as we step into a new year. I've been on a journey from living without clear dreams to making empowering choices aligned with my deepest desires, and I share practical tips that have made this transformation possible. Learn how starting your day with a self-check-in and creating feeling-based to-do lists can help maintain alignment with your desires and enhance your overall well-being.

Celebrate the beauty of small victories with us, as we explore the art of staying true to what truly brings joy and peace. Through strategies like setting reminders and using visual cues, we focus on staying connected with core feelings, encouraging honesty and choosing love over fear. A serendipitous story about a recurring card message reminds us of the limitless potential within each of us, inviting openness to life's messages. As we close, there's a tantalizing teaser about next week's episode, where we'll discuss how to navigate challenges while remaining true to our core feelings. Join us for an inspiring session that encourages you to courageously follow your heart and soul on the path to personal fulfillment.

Chapters

• 0:00 Anchoring Core Feelings in Daily Life
• 10:44 Celebrating Small Steps and Self-Reflection

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:33

Welcome back to the Pure Possibilities podcast. I'm so thankful that you're here with me today. So before we dive in to episode number three of feeling our way into the new year, today we're going to focus on anchoring those core feelings, and but before we do that, I wanted to share a little story. It was really sweet and I thought it would be fun to share.

Speaker 1: 0:57

This man came into my work the other day and he was 82 years old and he said I am going on my first date in 54 years, tomorrow, amazing. And so he was unfamiliar with my facility and so he wanted to come and do like a trial run of like how do you get there? Where do you park? What do you do? And he was so sweet, and so he started sharing all of these stories about his life with me and then we went on a little tour of the building and then, actually before that, he had made a comment to me. He said to have your dreams come true, you must have one. And that really hit me. And so, before he was leaving, I was like what was? What did you say about dreams? And he said to have a dream come true, you must have one. And that has stuck with me for the last several days. Do you have a dream?

Speaker 1: 1:54

I didn't used to have dreams. I just kind of went through my life. I had made some decisions about things that I was doing and I ended up on a path and I never really spent any time dreaming or visualizing how I wanted my life to look, because I felt like I had just kind of made some choices and that was the path that I was going down and that was great at the time, but I never really felt like I was. I never felt like I had the power. Do you ever feel like you're just kind of rolling with how things are unfolding and you kind of feel like it's a little bit out of your control? That's how I felt and I don't feel that way anymore. I feel like I actually get to decide and choose the path that I want to go down and what feels good for me, and I align my choices in my daily life with what feels good and feeling my feelings and all of that goodness. Hopefully you spent some time this week identifying what your core feelings are that you would like to feel on a daily basis and so moving forward.

Speaker 1: 3:07

We are gonna talk about. Actually, before we get into that, I want to be very clear that at no point, when I'm talking about feeling good, am I asking you to suppress your feelings. I want you to feel your way through your feelings and not judge how you're feeling, because we feel what we feel and that's okay, whether other people like how we feel or not. And so it's important to honor yourself and express how you're feeling or move those feelings through your body however it feels safe and comfortable for you to do so. But we're not ever suppressing. We're not pretending like everything is just fine when it's not. We're not pretending like we feel amazing when we really feel like shit. So honor yourself and honor your feelings and feel your way through those feelings.

Speaker 1: 3:59

Okay, what's the reason behind anchoring your feelings into your daily life? It's a great question. It helps to keep you aligned and moving toward the direction of what you desire. It can help strengthen your habits and when you are pairing your actions and your feelings together, it becomes more meaningful and it can often be easier to maintain because it's important to you, and when something is really truly important to you, you're more likely to keep that as a main focus for yourself.

Speaker 1: 4:33

So the first thing that you can do is to check in with yourself in the morning when you wake up. First thing that you can do is check in with yourself in the morning when you wake up. You can ask yourself and visualize how do I want to feel today? What are the core feelings that I would like to feel throughout my day today? You could meditate on that, you can journal, you could create a mantra. You could also create a feeling based to-do list. So, for example, you could ask yourself what can I do today that will help me feel more inspired? What can I do today that will help me feel more freedom? What could I do today that would help me feel more joyful? If you're looking to create more freedom, is there anywhere in your schedule, in your calendar today that you could free up some time for you? So that's how you could start the morning and then, during the day, you want to check in. So I know I've talked about this. Obviously, I'm a huge, huge fan of the magic of what, if? So much so that I created the card deck.

Speaker 1: 5:34

But I, for years, have programmed alarms on my phone to go off throughout the day to remind me to check in with myself. You can do this in various ways. I have little labels that I put on my alarms and I use cute little emojis. And it makes me happy when I look at them and they just remind me to check in and see how I'm doing, even if it's just for a second. Because when you are staying in tune with yourself and how you're feeling throughout your day, when you do that check-in, you can kind of get ahead of it and know that okay, so maybe I'm not feeling really great right now.

Speaker 1: 6:15

What's something that I could do that would help me to align with my core feelings? What's one small step that I could do right now, in the middle of my day, to help me feel better? And so you could use the alarms. You can do cute little emojis, you could put what if? Questions on there, whatever you choose to do, but you could use that as an opportunity to stop and breathe every hour throughout the day, every two hours, whatever you choose to come up with. Sometimes people do hourly check-ins, some people do like 9, 12, 3, two hours, whatever you choose to come up with. Sometimes people do hourly check-ins, some people do like nine, 12, three, six, nine. I always end my day with what is one amazing thing that happened today. And those are just different things that I do throughout the day to just stay connected, stay connected to me, and then in the evening, you can sit down if you'd like and do some journaling, if you enjoy journaling. Write some gratitude, reflect on your day. What were you doing throughout your day when you were truly feeling your core feelings?

Speaker 1: 7:18

I feel like it's, in my opinion, learning how to self-soothe and be comfortable with yourself and not look outside of yourself for your happiness is a pretty powerful thing, and so I do pay attention to how I'm feeling when I'm around certain people. Are they draining my energy? Are they filling me up and are they contributing to my happiness? Are they taking away from it? And that part is important to be in touch with. But I don't ever want to give anybody the responsibility of being responsible for my happiness, because that's all on me, that is all on me. They can contribute to it, but they're not responsible for my happiness, because that's all on me, that is all on me. They can contribute to it, but they're not responsible for it. So, but connecting with yourself and you know when did I feel my core emotions today and what could I do that's the same or different tomorrow, to keep that connection or reconnect, and then you could write down a few moments of gratitude that you have for the day, or write down some things that you're really proud of yourself for doing.

Speaker 1: 8:31

I recommend that, and I mentioned before I don't do a lot of journaling. I go in spurts of journaling, which is why I have that. What is one amazing thing that happened today as my final alarm for the day, just to remind me to connect when we're talking about core feelings and anchoring them in another thing that we're looking to do is are your decisions throughout your day aligning with your core feelings, and are they bringing them closer to your core feelings or pushing them away? Does saying yes to whatever is presented to you, whether it's an invitation or something that you feel like you need to do or should do, does that bring you closer to being calm and peaceful or does that bring more chaos into your life? Are you going to feel if somebody invites you somewhere and you say yes when you really wanted to say no? Is that going to create resentment or is it going to bring you calm and peace? So again, you're always at choice and you get to decide. And even if you might perceive that somebody's feelings would be hurt by you saying no, it's still up to you, and that way you can avoid being resentful of saying no, it's still up to you, and that way you can avoid being resentful of other people If you're not people pleasing.

Speaker 1: 9:50

Another thing that you can do is set boundaries, and setting boundaries to protect your core feelings and, again, having that awareness of what fills you up or what drains you. If you're seeking more freedom, go with that. Hell yes or hell no. Is that invitation? Oh my gosh, hell yes, I want to go. Do that. And do you feel it in your body or are you overcommitting? And you would feel better and closer to your core feelings and more aligned with your truth if you don't overcommit. It's going to give you a little more freedom. If you're seeking connection, prioritize connecting with people that you feel like you can have a true, authentic connection with and that you feel like you can truly be yourself with them. Connection with, and that you feel like you can truly be yourself with them.

Speaker 1: 10:45

And I just want to remind you again to celebrate yourself, you know, if you have a day where you are closer and feeling more aligned with even one of your three core feelings, celebrate that. If you set an alarm and you acknowledged it and didn't just snooze it every time it went off today, celebrate that, because sometimes we're like, oh, the alarm went off. The alarm went off as a reminder and, believe me, I have totally done it. So if you have a day that you acknowledge every alarm and you stop and you breathe, or you stop and acknowledge and ask yourself how you're feeling, that's amazing. And if you missed one of them today and you get them all to, you know you get to do it again tomorrow. It's okay. It is okay the fact that you're even choosing to be on this path of wanting to feel better and wanting to live a happier and more fulfilled life, and that you're looking out for yourself and taking care of you and doing what's best for you. Let's celebrate that. Oh my gosh, it's amazing. You are amazing Just the fact that you're even here. I love it. Just remember to celebrate those small steps too. They don't always have to be big steps.

Speaker 1: 12:08

So what are some other things you can do? You can have visual cues you could put a screensaver on your phone of what your core feelings are. You could put sticky notes. I think I mentioned a couple of weeks ago I have some things on my mirror in my bathroom that I look at every single day as a reminder. You can do the phone reminders. You can use emotional anchors. You can pair your feelings with something physical. So, for example, I have a candle burning here as I'm sitting here talking with you and it's smells amazing and it has like this little crackly sound, sounds kind of like a fire and candles and that scent bring me peace and calm.

Speaker 1: 12:54

Or if you're looking for joy, you could create like a joyful playlist If music is your thing. Music, as you know, is totally my thing, so I definitely have several playlists. Those are a couple of things that you can do. And then there's habit stacking, so you can stack your habits. So let's say, for example, every night before I go to bed, when I'm brushing my teeth, I'm going to reflect on my core feelings for today. And what's something that brought me joy today? That was my alarm. What if I just turned my magic all the way the fuck on? I don't know that you could hear that in the background, but usually I turn off my alarms when I'm recording, but that one was fun and timely, so, and it makes me smile and it brings me joy. It makes me laugh.

Speaker 1: 13:50

You could also take a moment to reflect over a cup of coffee in the morning. How can I truly, truly embody these core feelings and aligning with them? So just remember that small, intentional, aligned actions will continue to bring you closer to not only to your core feelings, but to yourself and also getting to know yourself. I think that's a huge thing. I mean, how well do you really know yourself? Do you know what you love? Do you know what you don't love? Do you allow yourself to truly, truly feel like what actually feels really good and acknowledge what actually feels like shit and be honest with yourself? It's interesting.

Speaker 1: 14:37

The other day, I had a thought pop into my head and it was where in your life are you not being truly honest with yourself? I was like, oh my gosh, where did that come from? Apparently, there must be an area of my life that I'm not being truly honest with myself. I've been kind of reflecting on that this week. Where in your life are you not being truly honest with yourself? You can hide from other people, but you can't hide from yourself. We can't hide from yourself. We can't hide from ourselves. So it's important to be honest with ourselves. Obviously, we need to be honest with other people too, but if you're not being honest with yourself, that can be, that can be rough. Okay, I hope that was helpful. So next week we're going to talk about navigating challenges that you might be faced with when you are focusing on aligning yourself to your core feelings. How do we do that? How do we stay aligned when shit's going sideways every day? Because you know what Life gets lifey and things happen. And again, I used to pretend like things were just fine and they honestly weren't. And so now I honor and acknowledge how I feel, feel.

Speaker 1: 16:08

Okay, it is time to pull a card from the magic of what if? Card deck. We're still rolling with volume two, because I love volume two, which is I have a funny story, love my stories. So I think I talked on the episode last week about what if? My potential is limitless was the card that I had pulled, and I was talking about pulling the card during our weekly Q&A in the private Facebook group, which you're welcome to join, and I was talking about how funny it was that I had pulled that card. And then the lesson that my friend taught was about having your potential being limitless. And then I kid you not, I was talking about it and I was telling the story in the group and I was laughing about it, and then I pulled a card for them and it was that same freaking card and I was sitting here totally shuffling the cards right in front of them and it was what if my potential is limitless? So I decided that the universe is reminding me that my potential is limitless and so we're sure it's okay, here we go. Potential is limitless, and so is yours. Okay, here we go.

Speaker 1: 17:18

What if I consistently choose love over fear? What if I consistently choose love over fear? Love in your heart and your soul. Listen to your soul and your heart and follow the love. That's that's what we should allow to guide us. Fear, it's not real. It's not real. We allow fear to stop us and paralyze us and keep us from moving forward. Because we're so afraid, because change can be really scary and your mind and your nervous system are constantly trying to signal you to stay safe and don't change. And when you change it's really really scary, but it it can be. But when you choose to to grow and evolve and make yourself uncomfortable and learn how to regulate and calm your nervous system down and make it safe to make those changes. You can do anything. It might be scary because it's a little bit uncomfortable, but don't let fear run your life. Follow your heart and soul and follow the love. I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful day and an amazing week. Thank you so much for listening. Much love.