How Do You Navigate Challenges And Stay Aligned? - Mini Series #4

Life’s challenges can often overshadow our core desired feelings, but with awareness and practical tools, we can navigate them effectively. In today's conversation, we dive into identifying triggers, setting boundaries, and using challenges as catalysts for growth, while emphasizing accountability and self-compassion.
• Importance of having core desired feelings to anchor ourselves
• Identifying external triggers such as work stress or negative environments 
• Recognizing internal activators like self-doubt and fear 
• Practicing self-compassion and awareness in challenging times
• Practical tools for staying aligned, including breathing techniques 
• Importance of reframing situations to identify opportunities for growth 
• Setting boundaries to protect emotional energy
• The role of accountability through friends or coaches 
• Encouragement to embrace challenges as opportunities for learning and growth 
• Announcement of an upcoming workshop focused on creating a magnetic vision for life

CLICK HERE to register for the What If There's More? Creating a Magnetic Vision - Free Workshop, Wednesday, February 5th, 5pm PST. 

Chapters

• 0:00 Navigating Challenges and Core Feelings
• 17:02 Finding Opportunity in Challenges

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:34

Welcome back to the Pure Possibilities podcast. Thanks so much for hanging out with me today. I had such a fun week, although it was very busy, which was good. It was great. I got to see a Cirque du Soleil show, which was a late birthday gift, and I got to see Legally Blonde, the musical, which was really fun, and then went out to dinner with one of my daughters and my son to celebrate my son's birthday. So it was a great week.

Speaker 1: 1:03

I hope you enjoyed your week and today we are going to dive into navigating challenges while staying aligned with our core desired feelings. Because you know what life happens and we constantly have things thrown at us throughout our day. I mean some days just kind of cruise along, but it is not uncommon to have things come at you, whether it's work stress, family stress. Whether it's work stress, family stress, kids, relationships, weather. You just never know what's going to happen and things can come at you or be going on around you that are completely out of your control. And so that's where we want to have these core desired feelings to really anchor and align us, because we don't have control over that stuff. But we can choose how to react and respond. We can choose to respond rather than react and bring it all in towards us. So when you're connecting to your core feelings and so we've worked through how do we want to feel and how do we know how we want to feel, and then identifying what those core feelings are and then anchoring them in, but now it's important to talk about understanding what actually activates you and what actually triggers you.

Speaker 1: 2:36

Activate, trigger, it's all kind of the same, but what are those things that happen that pull you out, pull you out of that desired feeling that you want to have? Sometimes it can be external, unexpected events. Maybe it's a job loss, relationship issues, health issues, and then there can be environmental issues, health issues, and then there can be environmental issues, social media Maybe you're just scrolling on social media and something like activates you or triggers you, or work stress or being around people that are negative. So when we can identify the external or environmental triggers or activations, then that allows us to have the awareness to then be able to focus back on. Okay, what do I need to do to recenter myself and to go toward the way that I want to feel each day? So really take a moment, you know, and really honestly, throughout your day. You can maybe jot some notes if you want to. Or maybe you just automatically know, like when I interact with this person, I get they activate me, or when I'm in this space, I'm immediately activated. Some people are immediately triggered just by walking into their place of work. It could be honestly anything, it could be just yeah, it could be anything.

Speaker 1: 4:02

So then there's also the internal things that activate us. Maybe it's self-doubt, maybe it's fear, maybe it's negative self-talk, old patterns, conditioning, maybe it's fear, maybe it's negative self-talk, old patterns, conditioning all of these things that can come up and when you can recognize them and show yourself some compassion because those are the things that you get to work through right, we don't judge, we show compassion. And when you have that awareness, you know what I really want to say right now. There is no intention here for it to be perfect. We don't always have perfect days and as you continue to become more aware of what's going on around you, what actually triggers and activates you, when you have that awareness, when it happens, you're better able to respond and process through your body however it feels best for you.

Speaker 1: 5:14

And even on my growth journey that I've been on for a long time and I don't. It's not, it's never ending, which isn't a bad thing. But there'll be moments. I had a situation recently where I could feel, I could feel in my body that I was like, oh, this is starting to really bother me, starting to really bother me. And so I take a moment and I breathe, because I'm aware of how shitty I'm feeling and I'm like, okay, something you know, I need to address this, I need to acknowledge it, I need to, I need to move through it.

Speaker 1: 5:53

There are other times where I'll be in a situation and something will happen and I might lose my shit, but then I go back and like, what was really going on with me, isn't that interesting? What caused me to do that? What was the reason behind it? And then I can take a look inside and usually usually whatever's going on doesn't have anything to do with the other person. It's something that's going on me, and maybe it's, maybe it's self-doubt, maybe it's fear, maybe it's it's something that's bubbling up to the surface, and sometimes we just let loose, you know. And then I go back and I'm like, oh, maybe I could have handled that a little bit different. And then I do, going forward, but there's no expectation of perfection. So be kind to yourself, be loving and don't judge. Try to not judge. So here are a couple of things that you can do to help you stay aligned during those challenging times that might come at you.

Speaker 1: 7:02

During a day, you can just pause and breathe. That works for me quite often. You can like breathe in for four, hold for seven and then release on a count of eight. You could do that and ask yourself what am I feeling in this moment and what do I need? What do I need? And we were talking about that recently, about asking. You know, do you ask for your needs to be met? And again, you're not always asking other people. Sometimes it's what do I need. Quite often it's what do I need in this moment, not what does anybody else need. What do I need? What do I need to feel better?

Speaker 1: 7:49

The other thing you can do is reframe. You can reframe the situation. Instead of asking why is this happening to me, what is going on, why is it happening, ask how could I use this interaction, this experience, to align myself with the core feelings that I am desiring to feel. The next thing that you can do is I call them pattern interrupts, just things that you can do to just interrupt and remove yourself from the situation. Obviously, that's not always possible. However, you know, I've been known to go into the restroom and breathe for a moment and take a break and shake my ass and put on some music to calm my nervous system down, to calm myself down and recenter. So you could take a five minute walk to just give yourself some peace. You could listen to a song that brings you joy. You could say no to things that are draining you. If you're looking and seeking more freedom, all of that is within your power.

Speaker 1: 9:06

You can also go back to those emotional anchors that we talked about. Returning to your physical or visual reminders. You could do affirmations. You've got object sense playlists. You could have the feel good list that we talked about. It's like that feel good list is like an emergency kit, like I need it now. I need to get back to me, and this is something that I can do really quickly. And when you're able to do that, it also just gives you a different perspective, gives you a different perspective on whatever is going on. Okay, what's another thing that you can do when you're feeling activated? You could set boundaries. Boundaries aren't for other people. They're for us. They are for us.

Speaker 1: 10:02

Say no to something without guilt when you don't feel aligned. Recognize what's draining your energy and this is where we have to get really honest with ourselves that radical personal responsibility. Have to get really honest with ourselves. You know that radical personal responsibility. When I am in an environment or I'm around somebody that is draining my energy, I don't judge it, but I'm aware and I do what I need to do for me so that I'm not allowing that person to drain my energy. Communicate your needs. Ask for what you need to drain my energy. Communicate your needs. Ask for what you need Again, whether that's asking yourself, which is always a good idea, or if you need something from someone else, if you need five minutes when you get home from work to collect yourself. Express that. Express that it's okay. Express that Express that it's okay. It's more than okay.

Speaker 1: 11:03

Sometimes we're faced with things that we perceive to be setbacks in our growth, and I would invite you to open yourself up to the possibility that the things that you're experiencing are not only making you stronger, they're helping you grow. Those challenges and obstacles that you're facing. They can be a great way to clue you in and help you to align with how you're wanting to feel. Sometimes it's like this reminder. Like I said, I am so in tune with myself now and, believe me, it was not always like this. It was not, but it's the awareness. It's the awareness of when I know that something isn't in alignment and that I can do something to change it. And then reflect what is this situation teaching me about my core feelings?

Speaker 1: 12:02

I had one of the members of our podcasting community. She was reflecting on what she believed her core desired feelings are and she thought it was one thing and actually she was like no, I actually do feel a lot of joy in my life. I actually want to feel inspired and I want to feel more freedom. So that's where really asking yourself and getting clear like who am I? What do I actually want? What makes me feel good in being honest with yourself on what makes me feel good in being honest with yourself Because sometimes it's not, maybe not what you actually think it is. So that's where, when we close our eyes and take a deep breath and just allow ourselves to listen to that voice inside of us, can be really, really helpful.

Speaker 1: 12:52

What else is important? Accountability, whether you have a friend that you like to check in with or you have a coach who holds you accountable, seeking support, doing regular check-ins with yourself. You could set a weekly reminder on your calendar to check in and you know how. How was I doing with my core feelings this week? How have I been feeling a majority of the time? You can do a habit tracker If that's something that feels good for you. I have a friend who makes a calendar and she likes stickers, so she'll put like stickers on the calendar. You know what works for you, because what works for you isn't necessarily going to work for me and what works for me isn't necessarily going to work for you. But what can you do to hold yourself accountable? You can text me in the show. There's that little spot that you can message me Accountability, accountability. We have friends, coaches, mentors. Set yourself up for success with having accountability and support.

Speaker 1: 14:02

Know when to ask for help and when to make time and take the time and space to reflect for you. Maybe it's five or 10 minutes at night before you go to bed. Maybe it's five minutes in the morning when you're having a cup of coffee. Maybe it's literally five minutes when you're in the bathroom because it's the only time that you're able to take for yourself. I hope that's not the case. Hopefully you're able to make more time than that. But the challenges that we experience, challenges, obstacles. There is nothing more guaranteed than change and challenges in our lives, and it's inevitable. But our core feelings can be an anchor when all of that is coming at you. So I encourage you to give yourself grace and don't judge. Don't judge yourself. This isn't a magical quick fix. It's a journey. It's actually a really fun journey. I hope you allow yourself to also enjoy it and be compassionate and loving towards yourself. Be compassionate and loving towards yourself.

Speaker 1: 15:25

Next week, we're going to talk about how to manifest the life that you desire using your core feelings. That's a fun one. Okay, we are going to pull a card from the Magic of what If? Card deck. I'm going to shuffle them While I'm shuffling. I'm actually going to pull a card from the Magic of what If? Card deck. I'm going to shuffle them while I'm shuffling, I'm actually going to tell you I have a free workshop coming up this next week, on February 5th at 5 pm Pacific time. It is called what If there's More Creating a Magnetic Vision. I often hear people talk about like is this it? Like, is this what life is all about? I get up and I go to work every day, I take care of my kids, I go to bed, I might go out occasionally or whatever, but like is this? Is this what it's really all about? What if there's more? What if there is more? So it's a free workshop that I'm offering and I'll put the link in the show description here as well and it's going to be a lot of fun.

Speaker 1: 16:26

I didn't used to be a dreamer and I didn't really have a vision of what I wanted my life to be like, because I didn't really feel like I felt like I just life to be like. Because I didn't really feel like I felt like I just it was just happening and I was just going along and that I didn't have the ability or the choice to honestly change anything. And I know that differently now. I know that that's not true. So come hang out with me. We will create a magnetic vision of your future. It's going to be a lot of fun. I always start with a dance party, because that is fun too.

Speaker 1: 17:03

Okay, today's card from volume two magic of what if card deck. Well, isn't this cute. I love so much how these cards more often than not align with the topic of conversation. What if my challenges are actually opportunities in disguise? Breathe that in. We literally just spent how much time talking about this.

Speaker 1: 17:39

What if my challenges are actually opportunities in disguise? Things are going to come at you, and not only are we learning how to process and move through them and be more aware of what feels good for us and how we can move through those feelings, but the fact of the matter is there's always going to be challenges coming at you at some point in your day, in your life. And what if they really are opportunities? We don't always see that in the beginning. Believe me, I have been there, but a lot of times you'll look back and realize, wow, that really challenging, shitty situation that I was going through changed my life, and you can turn that into gratitude. It's amazing. It's amazing Even if it doesn't turn into gratitude, if you are able to learn something from that experience. That's a pretty beautiful thing too. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today. I hope you have the most amazing week and a beautiful, beautiful day. Much love.