What Do You Actually Want? - Feel Good Again Series #6

Have you ever caught yourself chasing something that deep down, you didn’t even really want?
In this episode, we’re talking about the truth many of us avoid: being radically honest with ourselves about what we actually desire.

This isn’t about what your partner wants. Not what your parents hoped for. Not even what your past self said you should do. This is about you.
And what you want—now.

I share a personal reflection that came through for me one quiet morning with a cup of coffee and the sound of the birds chirping.  I also bring in a little movie magic from The Notebook to remind you: clarity isn’t found in what others think -it’s found within you and your own heart.

You don’t need to justify it. You don’t need a five-step plan.
 You just need to tell yourself the truth.

Journaling Prompt:
What do I actually want… if no one else’s opinions or expectations mattered?

Action Step:
Take 10 minutes today—go for a walk, sit quietly, or sip something warm—and ask yourself:
“If I could admit one truth about what I really want, what would it be?”
Say it out loud. Write it down. Let it be honest.

You deserve to feel good again.  And sometimes, the most powerful shift begins with simply telling yourself the truth.

Chapters

• 1:57 Welcome to Feel Good Again Series
• 2:56 What Do You Actually Want?
• 4:16 The Notebook: Afraid to Speak Truth
• 8:18 Creating Feel-Good Moments Now
• 14:40 The Fear of Changing Your Life
• 17:26 Journal Prompts for Self-Honesty
• 21:02 The Universe Conspires in Your Favor

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:59

Welcome back to the Pure Possibilities podcast and the Feel Good Again series. We have moved through listening to your body, shifting emotional frequency and taking radical personal responsibility. That's going to take us into what seems like the next logical step to me, and it's probably possibly going to be a little uncomfortable and might also unlock part of what you've been wanting to really tap into, even through the discomfort what do you actually want? Not what you think you're supposed to want, not what makes everyone else comfortable, not what you've told yourself that you should want, not what your parents, your partner or your past expect from you. But you, right here, right now, in this moment, we're talking honest, messy, open your heart, wide open, kind of want. What do you want and what's standing between you and that truth? It seems like I've noticed this in my life as well as clients I've worked with that it's easier to, it's honestly easier to just move along and go through life the way you originally decided, whatever plan you put into place and whatever's going to make everybody else comfortable, and not rock the boat and and and do what you actually want to do. Right, we've talked about this and it's easier quote unquote easier right To just say that you're fine and you're moving along and you're just doing the things and you just keep plugging along. But the longer we lie to ourselves, the further we pull away from feeling good. Pull away from feeling good and, as we talked about, like, your body knows that and cognitively you probably also know that. But it's just easier because staying in our comfort zone is easier. And honestly, I mean, I don't remember I saw a quote one time it's like is your comfort zone really that comfortable? And no, it's not. If you're not living in your truth and living in your authenticity. And, as we also talked about, you feel that in your body, you feel the tightness, the constriction in your chest. You're irritated all the time. The tightness, the constriction in your chest, you get. You know, you're irritated all the time. Or just like that voice inside of you that's like, yeah, this isn't it. Isn't there more to life than just this? And so we create our lives based off of what's expected of us or the decisions we made. And so we feel like we're stuck, we feel like we can't move and what looks good on the outside, what feels safe, and we say that we want peace or success or love, but deep down we're shaping and like doing the chameleon move of shaping those desires through the lens and the perspective of what other people want or what maybe we thought we wanted, but then we actually realized, oh shit, that's not actually what I want. That doesn't feel good for me, and so please allow this episode to be your permission slip to stop doing things, stop performing for approval and and really get honest with yourself what do you actually want?

Speaker 1: 4:51

It's funny as I was thinking about this episode, I thought about the movie the Notebook, and whether you've read Nicholas Sparks' the Notebook or you've seen the movie, there's a scene in it where Ryan Gosling's character Noah is having a conversation with Rachel McAdams' character Allie, and he goes on about like he goes on this long rant of like what do you want? This long rant of like what do you want? What do you really want? Not what your parents want, not what I want, not what he wants. What do you want, what do you want? And he just like and you, it's so raw and emotional and she's like I don't know, it's complicated, and you can like feel the tension and how hard it is for her to say her truth out loud of what like watching the movie like you know what she actually wants, but she's too afraid to say it. She's too afraid, and that moment lives inside of us. Not necessarily and I mean it could be with a relationship, it can be with your job, it could be with so many different things, but this is a really good example of how we hold and hold back on the life that we actually want to live, because we don't want to disappoint other people or upset anybody else, or it's not what they expected of us and it wasn't the plan. And so we are caught between who we've been and who we want to become, or the life we had, as opposed to the life we actually want to be living, and we avoid answering those questions. And again, it's not because we don't know the answer, because we do, you know, and that truth scares the shit out of you. It does, because what happens when you speak that out loud or you say what you actually want? If it's not the way it's been or it's something different, either you're going to have to do something different, somebody might get hurt, or something's going to have to change, and that is what scares us. It's really interesting.

Speaker 1: 7:18

I kind of go back a little bit to. Early on in my growth journey, I had various mentors say to me well, what do you want, like, what do you want your life to look like? And I was like I don't know, I don't know and the things I felt like in that moment that I wanted they seemed so far away and so out of reach, like you don't want to say that you want this particular thing, cause you're like there's no way that could ever happen, like your belief system is not on board with that. That's even possible. And yeah, I had a really difficult time being specific and I got to a point where I was like I know that I want to feel peace. I know I want to feel joy, I know I want to feel ease and like what are the things that can create that? And I actually had it was interesting this week share a little story.

Speaker 1: 8:16

So something that's been in a vision of mine for a long time is being able to walk out onto a patio and sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee and stare at the water and be outside and really take that in and enjoy it. And I don't currently live in a place like that. I don't have the water right out my front door, but this week I heard the birds chirping really loudly in the morning when I was making my coffee the other day. And I have a beautiful new deck on my house and I've lived here for a really long time and I used to have a really awful deck and a friend of mine rebuilt it and it's beautiful, and so I'm not really used to having the ability to go out onto my deck because I always thought it was going to collapse. But it's beautiful now and so I don't have to worry about that, and so the birds were calling me.

Speaker 1: 9:16

I believe, now that more I talk about this, so the birds were calling me. I believe, now that more I talk about this, that I can create that space. It's going to look a little bit different, but it's going to create the feeling that I'm looking for, that I want that, the feeling that I want to feel. So I sat out there with my cup of coffee, with the sun shining on me, listening to the birds, and my neighbor has a fountain so I could hear the water, and I closed my eyes and it took me away to a space that I actually wanted to be in and no, I'm not on a beach in this moment, but it brought me the peace and the ease and the relaxation and the joy that I was looking for.

Speaker 1: 10:03

And so sometimes, when we're being asked, what do you want, what do you really want? We don't want the piles of cash. Nobody wants the actual money, right? We want the feeling of the freedom that we get with having that. Or you know, do you what do you want in your relationship? Do you want to? You know, they say you know, become what you want in your relationship and you can make a relationship work with anybody if you choose to. And but so much of that is your own self-reflection and and being the partner that you want to be, that you want to have, and being the partner that you want to be, that you want to have.

Speaker 1: 10:47

I just I thought it was interesting that that was a, that was a real, that was a shifting moment for me this week, because I knew deep down that getting really specific about the things that I want, like where specifically do you want to travel to? Where, what do you want your house to look like and I know that people say you can manifest that way and whatever, but for me, I I want the feeling. As you can tell, I talk a lot about feelings and feeling good and so creating my own feel good feelings. You know there's ways that that can be done without having all of the things in the future that I desire the simplest of moments where we feel most like ourselves and create that space and peace and presence and beauty. And it's not like it's a checklist, it's not about a specific goal. It's that feeling.

Speaker 1: 11:52

Sometimes we think we don't know what we actually want. We think we don't know what we actually want, but we actually do. It's just layered under fear and changing things in our life is uncomfortable. And again, I'm not saying to go out and look for problems. If you are living the most magnificent, magical, beautiful life, then I'm so thrilled for you. But many people aren't necessarily living the life that they want and I know that I felt really disconnected from myself for a long time. And now that I have made some intentional shifts in my life, in my identity, stepping into the next level of myself, I know I'm so much happier and so much more at peace and I'm not putting on a show, acting for people. I'm actually being me and living the life that I actually want to live.

Speaker 1: 12:50

And I was going to say that things change and they shift and when you choose to intentionally make changes, it comes with fear of judgment, it comes with fear of failure. It comes with fear of success. It comes with fear of hurting people we love. It comes with fear of disappointing people. It comes with no longer betraying ourselves. It comes with fear that it's too late or we're too much.

Speaker 1: 13:21

I mean, I just turned 50 this year and not only did I walk away from my job, I'm completely changing my career and becoming an entrepreneur. I mean, I've been in the process of being an entrepreneur, but officially like stake in the ground. I'm running my own business and I want to show myself what I'm capable of and how I'm able to serve and help people. And it's never too late and I know that I will go to my grave now knowing that I was in integrity with myself and what was important to me, and not regret giving myself a shot to see what I'm capable of, because we are. We are so much more capable than we give ourselves credit for. We can do so much. And then we get in our head and we stop ourselves and we allow other people's opinions and thoughts of us to stop us from moving forward and taking the step and doing the thing that we really want to do. Like I didn't know what I wanted to do for a long time and then I just kept following the little nudges and that's what's led me here and I love this and I love serving, kept following the little nudges and that's what's led me here and I love this and I love serving people and I love helping people and I love the aha moments and the oh shit. I really can do this. Yes, yes, you can.

Speaker 1: 14:51

And the awareness and looking at things differently and making different decisions and being intentional and literally realizing that you can do anything that you want to do. You just have to make a decision to do it. And maybe something's going to change in your life. It's very possible, but what would life be like if we didn't have things come up that we needed to work through or move through, and so many opportunities for growth and expansion and stepping in to the most magnificent version of you? That's there. It's there. It's maybe been buried for a while, but it's there and it wants to come out and it wants you to live your best life and enjoy every moment as much as possible.

Speaker 1: 15:52

Staying out of integrity with yourself is its own kind of pain, and the longer you do it, the more disconnected and resentful you feel. So today's episode is your invitation to be honest with yourself, and you don't have to act immediately on anything, but admit what's actually true for you, allow it to breathe and move through you. That alone is a radical act. You, that alone is a radical act. And I'm going to give you a couple of journal prompts. But this is where I would invite you to you know, we talk about this a lot where you pause and like connect with your body. You can like drop into the lower half of your body, wiggle your toes and really ground yourself, put your hand on your heart and take a deep breath and ground yourself. And then ask yourself this question If no one else's opinion mattered, what would you admit that you really want?

Speaker 1: 16:58

And what am I afraid would happen if I owned that truth and allow it to be the first thing that pops up? Because when you start going cognitive with it and you start really thinking about it and breaking it down and analyzing it and processing it and going through it, that's not your intuition, that's not your highest self, that's your mind getting messy. That's not your highest self, that's your mind getting messy and in the middle of everything. But I invite you to just ask yourself and write it down. It may not make any sense. When I received the message within me that it was time for me to quit my job, it wasn't logical, it didn't make any sense. I haven't created a big, massive business or anything in this moment, but it was what my soul was calling me to do.

Speaker 1: 17:57

Writing things out gets it out of your body and out of your head, and maybe you write it out and then you tear it up and you throw it away because you don't want anybody to see it again. This is for you, this is you and you. It doesn't have anything to do with anybody else. So if no one else's opinion mattered, what would you admit that you really want and what are you afraid would happen if you owned that truth? You don't have to do anything about it today. Just start by telling yourself the truth. Let it be messy, let it be real. You don't have to fix it, just feel it and be honest with yourself. So that was your journal prompt. So now your action step is going to be. Speak one small truth this week, maybe. Say it to a friend, say it out loud to yourself, say it in the mirror. Let your body get used to the sound of your own clarity. Because when you honor your truth, even if it's just a whisper, you're building trust with yourself and that trust is where the joy and alignment can grow from. But nothing changes If you're not honest with yourself. Again nobody else needs to know. It's just you, it's you and you. And if you honestly, if you're not willing to be honest with yourself, are you really being honest with everyone else in your life? And if you're not being honest with people in your life, then do they actually even know you? Are you just a stranger to them?

Speaker 1: 19:41

Okay, with that, we're going to move into the card pull. So I'm going to pull a card from the magic of what if? Card deck volume two. The cards are available on my website, pure possibilities podcastcom or pure possibilitiesnet.

Speaker 1: 20:04

I told you this conversation might be uncomfortable. I'm not going to hold back. I see way too many people unhappy in their lives and you just don't have to give away your power. You can take it back at any time and choose different and maybe even asking those questions make you realize no, maybe I actually am really happy, maybe I am good, and that's okay too. There is no judgment. Just be honest with yourself. Just be honest with yourself. Okay, today's card.

Speaker 1: 20:46

What if the universe is always conspiring in my favor? It is, and when you move, the universe moves. Because when we sit around and we say that we want things and then we don't actually move and intentionally co-create with the universe, the universe is like, okay, well, I guess they weren't actually serious, they were just just joking around, weren't really serious, they didn't really want to do this. So that's what happened with me. It it's like I want the universe to know that I'm not messing around, I'm serious. This is what I want. I want to be of service. I want to help people. I want to be the best version of myself. I want to be me in all that. I want to live, and sometimes that changes on a daily basis. But I listen to the whispers and I follow what feels good.

Speaker 1: 21:58

You are allowed to want what you want. You are allowed to change your mind and pivot, and you are allowed to feel good again, even if it takes time, even if the truth is complicated. Like Allie from the notebook, her situation was a little bit complicated, even if other people don't get it and they don't understand, they don't need to. People don't get it and they don't understand, they don't need to. You get to know yourself here and I'll be right here with you as you do. Thank you for being here, thank you for choosing you, thank you for being open to the possibility that you can create the life that you desire and that you can feel good again. I'll be back next week. Have a beautiful, beautiful day and an amazing week, much love.