I Forgot to Ask Myself What I Needed - Do You Even Know Yourself Anymore? Mini Series Ep 3

You’re doing everything - keeping the calendar full, checking all the boxes, caring for everyone else. On the outside, it looks like you’ve got it handled. But inside? Something feels... off.

This week’s episode explores what disconnection really looks like—not as a dramatic breakdown, but as a slow fading from your own life. If you've stopped asking yourself what you want, what you need, or how you feel... this is your invitation to come back home to yourself.

✨ Reflection Questions:
– When was the last time I asked myself what I needed (not what others needed from me)?
– Where in my week do I feel dread, frustration, or guilt - but keep going anyway?
– What’s one small way I can show up for me this week, even if it feels unfamiliar?
– What if I didn’t need a “big reason” to matter to myself? What if wanting to feel good was enough?

🌟 Card of the week from the Magic of What If Deck:
"What if the universe is always conspiring in my favor?"

Chapters

• 1:57 I Forgot to Ask Myself What I Needed
• 4:13 Signs You're Disconnected From Yourself
• 5:33 Coming Back to Yourself
• 8:58 Reflection Questions for Reconnection
• 10:57 Small Acts of Self-Care Matter
• 13:45 The Universe Conspiring in Your Favor
• 17:35 Next Week's Preview and Closing

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:59

Welcome back to the Pure Possibilities podcast. We are continuing with the series. Do you Even Know Yourself Anymore? And this week's episode is called I Forgot to Ask Myself what I Needed, and that phrase might it might make you laugh because it's been so long, or it might hit you like, oh huh, does what I need actually matter? And maybe you've been avoiding it for a long time, but so many of us do forget that what we need, what we want, what we desire, is actually very important. And we don't mean to do this. We're not careless, we're not broken, but we get so caught up in the busyness and the expectations and the habit of being everything for everyone else that we slowly drift away from ourselves.

Speaker 1: 1:55

You might find yourself living a life that looks so full on the outside appointments, commitments, errands, caring for everybody, places to be but on the inside, something is missing, and it's not like this thing that you can fix or buy. It's more like I think I'm. I feel like I'm missing from my own life and it's subtle. It doesn't always come from like a big shift or a big ending or something massive that happens. It just slowly, slowly creeps in over time and it's really subtle. You dread part of your day, every single day, but you keep doing it over and over and over again. You feel like this low level anxiousness all the time and you blame yourself for being dramatic. You keep your calendar full because it's easier than facing the quiet. You say yes to things out of habit rather than desire, and you stopped asking for what you want because you've convinced yourself that you don't even know what that is anymore and, honestly, it doesn't matter. That is what disconnection can look like, and it's not falling apart. It's like this fading, not crumbling, but disappearing. If this is resonating with you, you are absolutely not alone. This kind of disconnection, it happens slowly and it's often praised. You're so dependable, oh my gosh. You are always there for everyone. I don't know how you do it all, but what's really important here is that you cannot be everything for everyone and stay rooted in who you are. You can't do that without a cost, and the first thing we usually sacrifice is our own voice, our own needs and our own desires.

Speaker 1: 3:58

I remember a time when I was working at the theater and I was doing the podcast and I was starting my business and I was doing all of these things and people were like I don't know how you do it all, and I really had started to feel so disconnected from myself. I was just like going through the motions and doing all of these things and I had a really full calendar and I was getting all the things done and losing myself in the process and disconnecting from myself, and it didn't feel good. Honestly, it did not feel good. So the question is how do you come back from this? You really start by asking, gently and regularly, and not demanding answers from yourself what do I need today? What do I want right now? What am I feeling? Even if I don't understand it, and that starts to like, build this muscle within you to start listening again and allowing yourself to hear yourself talk to you, to hear that inner whisper, to hear that kind and loving inner dialogue, that intuitive sense inside of you, and allowing you to connect back to yourself, to your truth, to your body, and really starting to listen to yourself. It's about valuing your own voice and honoring what's true for you, not what's expected of you. And it is not, it's not selfish, it is truly, truly essential. And I will plant a stake in the ground for this one, because when you are caring for yourself and what you need. You show up differently in your relationships. It allows you to actually tend to and care for the people in your life from such a healthier space.

Speaker 1: 6:10

When you've tended to your needs, even if it's just literally, like taking five minutes for yourself, like you deserve five minutes. And, honestly, if you're being really truthful with yourself, most people aren't going to notice that you took five minutes for yourself. They're not going to judge you, they're not going to criticize you, they're not going to say, hey, you weren't here for me during those five minutes, like literally. And if you are so far disconnected from yourself, start with one minute, start with two minutes, three minutes, four minutes, and start building it and reconnecting back to what you want and you'll realize how much happier you are and how much inner peace you have. Because when you stop asking yourself what you need, you begin to live a life that is built for other people and that's why you're not here, because it's all about everybody else. What about you? What about you? And by continuing to do that, you just like reaffirm your lack of importance or lack of worthiness and you start to fade away, and then I truly believe that that begins to build frustration and anger and resentment, and that is what's unhealthy for our relationships. That is doing a complete disservice to our friends, our family, our children. When you are that far detached from yourself, that doesn't do anyone any good at all.

Speaker 1: 7:56

All right, let's move into our reflection questions. So here are a few questions you can sit with this week. And again, don't sit and stew on them, don't dissect them and get all, allowing your mind to make up stories, not allowing your mind to go down a spiral with them. This is just like just a question. Place your hand on your heart, if that feels good for you, and take a deep breath in and then ask yourself when was the last time I asked myself what I needed not what others needed from me, what I needed? Where in my day or my week do I feel dread, frustration or guilt? But I keep going anyway. What's one small way I can show up for me this week, even if it feels unfamiliar? What if I didn't need a big reason to matter to myself? What if wanting to feel good was enough? We're not fixing everything overnight. And again, we're not fixing anything because you're not broken, but it's about remembering yourself. You've just maybe become a little bit detached and you can always return back to yourself and something is just coming up for me right now.

Speaker 1: 9:19

You know, I know there's a lot of people that feel that connecting with yourself or doing things for yourself is truly, truly selfish. And you know, I as much as I believe that when we are doing things for ourselves and these aren't even always big things it's literally taking five minutes to just connect and like check in. How do I feel? What's going on? Am I feeling good about this? Is there something I can shift? You know, is there something that I'm not doing for myself that feels good or important? That feels good or important.

Speaker 1: 10:05

I mean, I would say, even over the last couple of weeks I realized that I wasn't like I'm not moving my body as much as I used to when I was working outside of my house, and so that is a way that I was feeling a little bit disconnected from myself. I'm like I know that I feel better when I'm moving, and so I've been really intentional, like I haven't been eating very well and, you know, disconnecting from the things that feel good for me. I've been drinking more water and I feel better. I'm being incredibly intentional about my movement every day, because I feel better when I have daily movement in my day, because it's pretty easy to sit here and be on my ass all day not moving, and so creating that intentionality in my day for the water, to make healthier choices with what I'm eating, to make intentional choices about getting some type of movement in every day for a certain amount of time Like those are really important and they're reconnecting me back to myself and something like drinking water that makes me feel better, doesn't take any time, nor does it take away from anyone else in my life, but it's something that I'm doing for me. That's reconnecting me back to me and what's important to me, which is feeling good and feeling healthy in my body. So sometimes I think that people, you know they they think of that self-care and self-love, as you know, going and having a spa day, which is amazing but it's not always these big, huge things that we do. It's the small moments where you create connection back to you about what's important for you, and when you do, you show up differently in your relationships because you are honoring what's important for you. And that's also like if you have children. That's also showing your children that it's important that they care about themselves a big deal because of how it ripples out into all of our relationships. That came in really strong, so I somebody apparently needed to hear that, and also a good reminder for myself.

Speaker 1: 12:30

All right, we're going to now move on to pulling a card from the magic of what if card deck, volume two. They are available at shoppurepossibilitiesnet and you can find all kinds of fun what if? Merch in my store. So, all right, let's see what the message is for today. What if the universe is always conspiring in my favor? It's interesting. I had done a recording for this episode and I didn't like how it turned out, and I pulled a card and I pulled this exact same card. What if the universe is always conspiring my favor? I shuffled the cards and the same one came up twice in the same sitting. So that's interesting.

Speaker 1: 13:15

It doesn't always feel like the universe, god, however you refer to your higher power it doesn't always feel like the universe is conspiring in your favor, because things happen in our life every day and sometimes it feels like oh my God, why is this happening to me? And we don't always understand. We don't always understand in the moment, but when you're able to get to a space where you can take a step back and like, look at it from almost an outside perspective of I'm going to use the the two relationships in my life that ended. It's been almost nine years now, which is wild to me, but sometimes massive things happen in our life and, please don't get me wrong, I'm not downplaying tragedies that happen and things like that, but there's always something to be learned from the things that happen in our life. I get it Like I understand. I understand that because these experiences that happen help move us to where we're meant to be. And again, it's not always comfortable when that happens and also the universal energies are conspiring in your favor and maybe they're stretching you, maybe they are putting you in an uncomfortable position to get you to move, and it's not always fun. But ultimately I have found personally that even in that moment where it feels like my world is ending or you know and that sounds dramatic, but you know, people feel that way sometimes when something bad is happening and so it's when you can kind of step back and go oh my gosh, that needed to happen to get me to this space. And so what if the universe is always conspiring in my favor. It's one of my favorite cards and clearly it was meant to be on the show today because it came up twice. Oh goodness, the universe always surprises and delights me.

Speaker 1: 15:54

Okay, so next week. I'm actually really excited about next week's episode. There was something that I was going to talk about today and I decided I'm going to move it to next week, but I've had a lot of really big breakthroughs, I guess, happening recently, and I've got an amazing story that has all kinds of lessons in it that I'm going to share next week, and so we are going to dive into what lives underneath the disconnection, the beliefs, the fears, the programming that has shaped how we learned to relate to our needs, and it's going to be an incredibly powerful conversation that I'm so excited for. All right, until next week, pause, breathe and ask yourself what do I need today? You might be surprised at the answers. Maybe it's more fun, maybe it's more play, maybe it's more rest. You just never know. Only you know what you need. I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful day and an amazing week. Much love.