The Illusion of Control: When Trust Meets Surrender - Deep Trust Series Ep 4

What if the control you’ve been clinging to… was never real safety at all?

In this deeply personal episode of the Deep Trust mini-series, we explore the illusion of control - why we grip so tightly, how it shows up as perfectionism, overthinking, or people-pleasing, and what it really means to surrender.

Through my own story of leaving my job and stepping into the unknown, I  share what it looks like to trust your path even when it doesn’t unfold the way you expected. Because control is fear pretending to protect us - but trust, that’s where freedom and creation live.

You’ll be invited to pause, reflect, and reconnect with your own body’s wisdom as you release the need to know how and learn to trust that you’re already being guided.

🎧 Tune in for gentle guidance, reflection questions, and a “Magic of What If” card pull to help you soften your grip, align your energy, and surrender into your next level of growth.

💜 “Control will keep you small. Trust will set you free.”

Take a deep breath, and after each question, let your body - not your mind -respond.

1. Where in my life am I trying to control the outcome?
2. What am I afraid might happen if I let go?
3. What part of me believes I need to hold it all together to feel safe?
4. How am I abandoning myself in the process?
5. What might happen if I trusted that I’m already being guided - that everything unfolding right now is part of something bigger?

Chapters

• 1:57 Deep Trust Series Context
• 2:42 Naming The Illusion Of Control
• 3:08 Sneaky Forms Of Control
• 4:13 Fear Disguised As Protection
• 5:21 Believing Before Seeing
• 5:51 Leaving The Job: A Leap Of Faith
• 6:37 Releasing The Grip On Outcomes
• 7:38 From Control To Creation
• 9:57 Surrender And Aligned Action
• 10:28 The Cost Of Holding On
• 11:23 Reflection Questions For Letting Go
• 13:31 Card Pull: Choose Love Over Fear
• 15:16 Nervous System Safety And Trust
• 16:26 Weekly Invitation And Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:59

Welcome back to the Pure Possibilities Podcast. I'm your host, Shannon, and as always, I am so grateful that you have chosen to spend your very precious time with me today. We are now in episode four of the Deep Trust miniseries. So far, we've explored what deep trust really means, that deep soul level knowing that even when life looks completely different than what we expected, you're gonna be okay. And self-trust as the foundation of all trust, as well as forgiveness as the release that opens the doorway to peace. If you've missed any of those, I highly recommend going back and re-listening. And today we're diving into a big one and a very personal one for me as well: the illusion of control and what it really means to surrender. Because for most of us, control is the last thing we are willing to let go of. It feels like safety and certainty. But let me tell you, control is not safety. It is simply the illusion of it. Control can show up in so many sneaky ways for everyone. Honestly, overthinking, planning every detail, people pleasing, perfectionism, managing everyone else's emotions. Have you ever done that? You might be doing it unknowingly and trying to prevent disappointment before it can even happen. And it's not about being controlling, it's about that part of us that learned a long time ago that if we could just anticipate, prepare, or please enough, maybe we wouldn't get hurt. Maybe we would finally feel safe. But control is fear pretending to protect us. It's that part of us that says, if I can hold it all together, I'll be okay. But honestly, holding it all together is what's keeping us from feeling free. We struggle to let go because our mind craves that guarantee. We want to know what the next step is before we take it. We want proof before we trust. We want to see it before we believe it. But that is not how life or creation works. The illusion of control convinces us that when we plan everything perfectly, we can avoid the unknown. We can avoid the uncertainty. But the unknown is not our enemy. It's where possibility lives. Trust asks something completely radical of us to believe before we see, to take the step before we have evidence, to trust that even when the outcome isn't clear, the path is still ours. Wayne Dyer has a quote: believe it before you see it. And I love that quote. When I left my job, I didn't know exactly how everything was gonna go. I was taking that actual leap of faith, knowing that the universe was going to catch me and also being scared to death. It was terrifying. But I had this deep full body knowing that it was time and that staying would have been a greater risk to my physical and mental health than leaving. And believe me, I have days where I'm like, Shannon, what the hell have you done? And then I ground and reconnect to myself. But it definitely happens. I mean, I have these moments where I feel that pull to tighten my grip and want to control how everything is going to work out, to rush to get results, to have it all make sense to my logical mind. And every time that happens, I reconnect back to the present moment and I realize I am learning to trust on an entirely different level than I ever have. Because this journey isn't about things looking a certain way, it's about who I am becoming as I walk down my path. And it looks our paths, are like your path is completely different than everyone else's. And so it's trusting that you are on your path, and your soul created this path. And when I look around, there's freedom and joy and abundance in ways that I couldn't have planned. Laughter and creativity, and little nudges from the universe that remind me I am exactly where I'm meant to be, and I can release how it's all going to work out and just know that it is. I want to grip onto that how so much, and that's not what I meant to do. I've got to trust. But life is always responding to our energy, not our control. When you approach life through fear or doubt, you'll keep finding more reasons to feel afraid. But when you show up from trust, from faith, and from a grounded confidence, the universe is going to meet you there. Control says to us, show me, and then I'll believe. Trust says, I'll believe, then I'll see. This is the shift from control to creation. When you stop gripping the how, you make space for the magic of the how to find you. You stop chasing the outcomes and start to align your energy. And then you begin to co-create your life instead of fighting every step of the way. And that is where the inspired aligned action comes from. Surrender isn't about sitting back and not doing anything, it's about moving from an aligned space instead of anxiety, taking the next step that feels right for you and true to you without needing to know exactly where it's going to lead. And it's staying present and one step at a time. That is what real power looks like. When we hold on, it comes at a cost. When we try to control everything, we lose that connection with ourselves and we abandon our intuition and our inner knowing to chase perceived security and safety. And we ignore our body signals and say yes when our entire being is screaming, no, don't do that. No, don't do that. And control convinces us that we're keeping things together when it's truly the reason we actually feel so disconnected. But when you begin to build deep trust, something shifts and you start to realize that letting go isn't control, it's returning back to yourself. And then you stop micromanaging your life and partnering with it. You stop forcing and allow it to flow. What if I allow myself to dance with the flow of the universe? So we're gonna dive into today's reflection questions. And I would like to invite you to pause after each question and allow your body to respond before your thinking mind gets involved. Because that is where we begin to shift from control to creation by listening to your body's truth before your fear jumps in and takes over. So I would like to invite you to take a deep breath. Close your eyes if it's safe and comfortable to do so. And release and ask yourself, where in my life am I trying to control the outcome? What am I afraid might happen if I let go? What part of me believes I need to hold it all together to be safe? How am I abandoning myself in the process? And what might happen if I trusted that I am already being guided, that everything unfolding right now is part of something bigger. Those will also be posted in the show description if you want to be able to come back to them at a later time and not have to remember them or write them down in this moment. Okay, now it's time for a card pull from the magic of what if deck. You can get card decks there, different merchandise, mugs, journals, and soon-to-be desktop calendars. So I'm excited to share that with you. And those are all available on my website, Peer Possibilities Podcast.com, under shop. All right, today's card is what if I consistently choose love over fear? I feel like we pulled that one recently, but that because it's all connected to trust. Love, follow the love, the love in your heart, your passion, what lights you up, what fills you up, what brings you joy, the love, not the fear, the fear, fear, doubt, it pulls away from the trust and allowing things to unfold. I think we've talked a little bit about the difference between like fear and danger, but fear is just holding you back, keeping you safe. Fear keeps you the same, and it stops you from creating a life that you actually want to be living, and it's trying to protect you, which is why we do various nervous system practices to regulate and create that felt sense of safety in your body because we can't think our way through all of this. Uh, we really truly need to listen to our body talk and uh create that uh felt sense of safety in your body because your mind is just gonna try and keep you safe and stay the same. The illusion of control tells us if I can just get it right, I'll finally be safe. But trust says I'm already safe, even when I don't know how it's gonna turn out. This week, I invite you to notice where you're gripping, where you're trying to force or figure it out, or hold on to something that you really know it would be in your highest good to let go of. And instead of tightening your hold, soften your energy, and allow your body to talk to you and communicate with you and listen to that inner guidance and wisdom. Ask yourself, what if I don't need to control this? What if I can trust this instead? Control will keep you small, it will keep you exactly where you're at, and trust will set you free. The illusion of control is just that. It's an illusion. But surrender, that's where you meet your power. Keep listening to your body talk, keep trusting your energy, and remember your body always knows. Have a beautiful, beautiful day and an amazing week. Much love.