The Sacred Messy Middle: Learning to Trust While It’s Still Unfolding - Deep Trust Series Ep 5

What if the space between letting go and receiving isn’t chaos… but sacred?

In this episode, trauma-informed identity and empowerment coach Shannon Danielle explores The Sacred Messy Middle - the in-between where trust becomes a daily practice instead of a concept.

You’ll learn why your nervous system wants to grip for control, how to regulate instead of force, and why this phase of uncertainty isn’t punishment - it’s rewiring time. Shannon shares how every new move in life and business deepens self-trust and strengthens your capacity to hold more peace, confidence, and joy.

 ✨ Reflection Questions:

Where in my life am I currently in the messy middle?

How does my body respond when I start to grip for control again?

What would it feel like to trust that this discomfort is part of my growth?

What support or practice helps me regulate when the unknown feels too big?

What if I trusted the unfolding is working for me, not against me?

What am I learning from this growth edge I’m at right now?

Chapters

• 1:57 Welcome And Series Context
• 2:40 Defining The Sacred Messy Middle
• 4:08 Nervous System Safety Versus Control
• 7:07 Trust As Ongoing Practice
• 8:57 Launching, Doubt, And Self‑Regulation
• 10:57 Progress Evidence And Discomfort
• 13:02 Grounding Questions For The In‑Between
• 14:55 Card Pull: Step Into Magnificence
• 17:17 Remembering Who You Are
• 18:12 Closing Affirmations And Encouragement

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:59

Welcome back to the Pure Possibilities Podcast. I'm your host, Shannon. I am a trauma-informed identity and empowerment coach and the creator of the Magic of What If collection. My work blends neuroscience, energetics, and somatic healing to help you reconnect with your body, regulate your nervous system, and remember who you are beneath all the noise and all the chaos that's going on outside of you. We are in episode five of the deep trust miniseries. And if you've missed the earlier episodes, I highly recommend going back and listening. We've explored what deep trust really means, the foundation of self-trust, the freedom of forgiveness, and the illusion of control. And today we're moving into that space that exists between when we let go and seeing what's next. What I like to call the sacred messy middle. This is that space after you decided to let go and surrender, but before everything has completely fallen into place. The in-between, the part where you say, I trust, but your nervous system still wants to grip and grip onto everything that you're desiring. The space where your mind says, I thought I would be feeling better by now. Why isn't this happening yet? And your soul whispers to you, this is the work. The messy middle is that stretch between you making the decision and the evidence of it actually showing up. It's where trust becomes a practice instead of a concept. It's that space where you've said yes to something new, a leap, a change, a boundary, a release. And now you're waiting to see what it's actually going to look like. Because as you know, when we release and trust, the universe often brings us something even more beautiful and magical than we could have ever possibly imagined on our own. And it's really uncomfortable because your nervous system craves old familiar patterns and your comfort zone, the ones that felt safe because they were predictable, even when they weren't aligned. The messy middle is not punishment. It's a phase where you're integrating. It's where your nervous system is recalibrating to safety without control. And it is incredibly uncomfortable and also can feel can make you feel a little bit off. Even when you know that you've surrendered, it is completely normal to try to reach out for that control again because your body and your nervous system are craving certainty because your nervous system wants to keep you safe all the time. So it's constantly scanning for threats that things are unsafe and wanting to grab at you and pull you back into safety, into the safe, into the familiar, into your comfort zone that actually isn't really that comfortable because you have dreams and desires and goals and things that you want to move towards. And your body just wants to keep you safe. Sometimes it can sound like, did I really make the right choice? And what if this doesn't work? Maybe I should just go back to what I know. I don't know that I'm cut out for this. Is this really what I'm meant to be doing? And you know that talk track that goes on in your mind. We all have it. And that is not failure, it is feedback. It's your system saying, This is new. I'm not quite sure that I'm safe yet. And that is where the regulation matters the most. We don't want to force this. We want to regulate and create that felt sense of safety in our body. This is where you remind your body, it's okay. I've got you. We're safe even when we don't know. And there's nothing wrong with you for wanting to grip. Like this is so, so common. And you are just human learning how to trust again. And again, there's so many different practices that you can do. Obviously, I will often refer back to intentional breathing because breath is something that's available to you all the time. No matter where you are and what you're doing, you can always stop and intentionally breathe. There are numerous practices available: dancing, walking, just whatever you can do to move that energy throughout your body. You know, when I first left my job, I thought that was the leap, the big trust moment. But what I've learned since then is that trust isn't a one-time event. It's an ongoing relationship that I'm cultivating with trust. The messy middle doesn't just show up when you make the big move, when you leave the job, leave the relationship, move across the country, whatever it is, start the relationship. It doesn't matter what you're doing, you know, or opening yourself up to vulnerability of actually getting into a relationship when you haven't been in one in a long time. It continues to show up again and again and again as you keep expanding into new levels of yourself. It's funny because even now, every time I launch something new or host a class, I find myself in that energetic space. There's there's excitement and there's also uncertainty that is coming up into my mind. And we can't trust our thoughts, right? Is this going to work? Did I do it right? Am I going to be able to properly communicate what I'm trying to express? Is it going to come across the way that I want to? Are people going to understand? You know, that talk track goes and goes and goes. But lately I've started to realize that it's feeling a little bit better. The last class that I hosted, it flowed differently. I still had the nerves when I started. I actually was thinking to myself as I was, as I was teaching, I was like, thank goodness I teach nervous system regulation because I'm able to regulate myself as I'm teaching, because I'm I'm demonstrating different practices that also regulate my nervous system, which makes it kind of fun. But this last time there weren't any technical issues. I felt calm, grounded, and more confident in a way that I hadn't before. And that right there, that is the messy middle. And it is sacred because you're moving into that next level of yourself in a way that feels safer to your nervous system. One of my mentors, Tracy Litt, who has been on the show before, she says change happens at the speed of safety. And it's so true. So you make the move and it feels a little bit better. And then you make another move and it feels even better. And creating that safety in your body by regulating and doing different practices, each step deepens your trust. Not because the path suddenly becomes so much easier, it's because you realize I'm okay, I can do this, I'm growing. The messy middle is where you start recognizing that even when things aren't perfect, you're still making progress. It's where we learn to celebrate the evidence that you can trust yourself, that the moments that feel lighter, that feel a little bit smoother, that feel more aligned. And I can guarantee it's still going to be uncomfortable because you'll have days that make you want to grip and shrink back again to tighten up and to try and control how everything is unfolding. But every single time that you take a breath, relax into your body, and remind yourself, I'm learning, I'm expanding my capacity. That's you strengthening your trust muscle. That's you meeting yourself in the sacred, messy middle. And sometimes that move is going to be having a difficult conversation with someone, setting a boundary, um, like I said, being open and vulnerable to starting a new relationship, or maybe you're ending a relationship that you felt no longer was aligned. Each step you take, you are reassuring yourself that you can trust yourself. And sometimes things fall apart before they come together. So when you find yourself spiraling or gripping a pause, place your hand on your heart or on your belly, whichever feels more grounding, and take a deep breath and ask yourself, what am I afraid will happen if I just let this unfold? Is this fear asking for reassurance or control? And allow your body to answer before your mind jumps in and then ask, what if I trusted that this in-between space is sacred? Because it is. If it's available to you, grab a piece of paper and feel free to jot these down. They will be in the show description, so you can always come back to them. I invite you to take a deep breath and close your eyes if that's safe and available for you to do so. And take a deep breath in and allow these questions to move through you. Take a deep breath in, hold and release. Where in my life am I currently in the messy middle? How does my body respond when I start to grip for control again? What would it feel like to trust that this discomfort is part of my growth? What support or practice helps me regulate when the unknown feels too big? What if I trusted the unfolding is working for me, not against me? And what am I learning from this growth edge that I'm at? Now it's time for one of my favorite parts of the episode: pulling a card from the magic of what if deck. I'm gonna go ahead. I'm actually gonna pull from volume one. I know I tend to go towards volume two a lot, so I'm going to be intentional and go towards volume one. Available on my website, purepossibilitiespodcast.com. All kinds of really cool things available from the magic of what if collection. Candles, journals, mugs, all kinds of goodness. All right. So today's card is what if I easily step into my magnificence? We often doubt our magnificence. And what I would love to remind you of right now, in this moment, is that there is no one, no one that is exactly like you. You are unique and beautiful and magnificent just as you are. And how incredible is it that there's only one of you, and you do have magic inside of you that is available to share with the world, whether it's smiling at a stranger or reaching out and connecting with a friend you haven't talked to in a while. We often minimize our magic and our magnificence. And today I invite you to step out and shine, shine your light. And even if you're shining it for yourself, looking in the mirror and smiling. And since you're here listening to this show, I know that you have a desire to realize your magnificence and step into that beautiful, beautiful version of you that is inside of you, waiting, just waiting for you to call them forward. The messy middle is sacred because it is the bridge between who you were and who you're becoming, and you're not doing anything wrong, you are just becoming more of you. And I know that people sometimes people say, Well, if there's nothing wrong with me, then why do I need to change? And it's not that change specifically is necessary, it's more of remembering who you are before society and the world told you who you couldn't be. That's the work that we do, that's the rewiring, rewiring those beliefs of all of those things that aren't even true. So that you create the life that you actually want to be living, not the one that you're settling for. This week, when you feel yourself reaching to fix or to rush or to try and figure it all out right now, just pause, pause, take a breath, and remind yourself this is also part of my becoming. This is a part of my expansion. You are allowed to be a little bit messy and still deeply trusting. That is the beauty of this work. Every step you take allows you to move into the most beautiful expanded version of yourself. Keep listening to your body talk and trusting your energy. And remember, your body always knows. Have a beautiful, beautiful day and an amazing week. Much love.