Your Relationship with Joy: Why Playfulness Matters More Than You Think (Ep #6 Relationship Series)

In this episode of the Relationship Series, I felt a strong pull to soften, slow down, and invite a little more lightness into the conversation.

We’ve been exploring deep relationships - with ourselves, our bodies, honesty, and boundaries - and today we turn toward a relationship that often gets forgotten as we grow up:  our relationship with joy, playfulness, and pleasure.

So many people tell me they don’t know what they like to do for fun anymore.  I used to feel the same way, and honestly… that makes so much sense when you’ve spent years being responsible, productive, or in survival mode. But “I don’t know” isn’t the end - it’s the beginning of curiosity.

In this episode, I talk about:

• How joy and playfulness quietly fade as we grow up
• Why waiting for life to feel easier before enjoying it keeps us stuck
• How even a few minutes of play can shift your energy and reconnect you with your life force
• Why joy isn’t something you earn - it’s something you allow

This is a gentle reminder that healing doesn’t always look like processing or fixing. Sometimes it looks like laughing, swinging on a swing, dancing in your kitchen, or doing something simply because it feels good.

Before we close, I’ll also guide you through a short card pull and leave you with two simple reflection questions to help you reconnect with joy in a way that feels natural and pressure-free.

Reflection Questions:

1. What did I love doing as a child, or what made me laugh, that I’ve forgotten about?
2. What’s one small, pressure-free way I could invite more play, joy, or pleasure into my week - or even my day?

You’re allowed to enjoy your life.
You’re allowed to play.
And sometimes, a few minutes of joy can change everything.

Chapters

• 1:56 From Q&A To Boundaries
• 3:40 Prioritizing Your Value
• 4:41 Shifting Toward Joy And Play
• 6:13 When “I Don’t Know” Is Freedom
• 7:28 The Swing Set Story
• 9:00 Play As Life Force
• 10:23 Savoring Small Pleasures
• 11:43 Joy Now, Not Later
• 13:16 What If Card: Loved And Supported
• 15:05 Gentle Reflection Questions

Transcript

Shannon: 0:58

Welcome back to the Pure Possibilities Podcast. I'm your host, Shannon, and I just got done doing the live QA in the Pure Possibilities Facebook community. I go live in there every week and do a QA. And we were having a conversation about the friendship episode. And it was interesting because one of the members said, you're talking about friendships. And I'm actually having a similar situation with a family member. And it's really important to remember that you get to decide what you're going to tolerate in your life. You get to decide how you will tolerate any relationship. If your boundaries are being violated or you are not being treated with love and respect within any relationship, friendship, family, intimate relationship, whatever the case may be, if you are feeling like you are betraying yourself in any of those relationships, you get to choose. And I know it can be more challenging when it comes to family, but just like any relationship, you get to decide what that relationship is going to be like for you. And if someone isn't honoring you and respecting you or your boundaries, then you get to make a decision and you know feel that in your body with how that would feel for you if you were going to maybe reduce contact with that particular person. I mean, if they are family, maybe you're not able to completely walk away from that relationship. However, you can decide what you're going to tolerate. And we teach people how to treat us. And if we allow them to continue to disrespect us, then they'll just continue to do it. And you may need to have a conversation. And sometimes you aren't able to have a conversation because sometimes when we have something we want to say, the person isn't even going to hear what you're actually saying. So it's important to remember that you are just as important as everyone else. And it was, it was kind of ironic, but this is what the universe does. I pull a card in there every week, also. And the card that I pulled after that conversation was what if I prioritize my own value? And we kind of got a laugh about it, but I love the universe and it always re-emphasizes exactly like the universe knows. God source, the universe, whatever your higher belief is, it's uh it's got your back. So after recording last week's episode, I realized wow, we have been going pretty deep into these episodes in the relationship series. And I felt a really strong pull to kind of lighten things up a little bit this week. This is not the episode I had originally thought I was going to record, but as you know, I am very intuitively led, and I felt like we needed to create a little bit of space to breathe and integrate and just kind of intentionally allow this to be a little bit of a softer episode, more spacious, more playful, because there's another relationship that we don't talk about nearly enough. And that's our relationship with joy, playfulness, and pleasure. And this is another very important relationship. In this series, we have been exploring that everything is a relationship, our relationship with ourselves, with our bodies, with avoidance, with honesty, and joy, playfulness, and pleasure is absolutely no different. For many of us, joy, playfulness, and pleasure just kind of like quietly fades back as we grow up. And it's not because we don't want those relationships, it's not because we don't desire them, but because being responsible, being productive, being in survival mode as an adult slowly takes over. And one of the most common responses I hear when I ask people, what do you like to do for fun? They say, I don't know. So I want to pause for a moment here because that answer makes a lot of sense when you have spent years being the responsible one, being the caretaker, being the dependable one, the one who holds it all together, that joy and pleasure and playfulness, it feels really distant. But what I love about I don't know is that when you believe that you don't know, that's actually where it can become even more fun because there's no pressure to already have the answer. You get to explore and get curious. What would you like to try? What sounds interesting to you, even if you're not good at it? What is something that you used to do that you're now remembering that? Oh, I love, I used to love to do that. What is something you love to do as a kid? What makes you laugh? Play doesn't require certainty. It requires you giving yourself permission to actually play, to actually have pleasure in your life, to actually be joyful. It was interesting. I had gone on a walk with my sister a couple of weeks ago, and we were approaching this park that I often stop at. And yeah, I said, Hey, when was the last time that you swung on a swing? And she was like, gosh, I don't remember. And so she was a super good sport and played along, and she went and got on the swing, and instantaneously this giant smile came on her face, and she started swinging, and it was so beautiful to witness. And we were honestly like she we had the dogs, and so she swung on the swing, and then I swung on the swing because we had to take turns with the dogs, and we were there for less than 10 minutes, and yet something shifted. So I would like to invite you to be open to really listening to that story of how quickly joy can return when you allow yourself to play. Even if it's just for a few minutes, it can completely shift your energy. Playfulness is one of the fastest ways we can reconnect with our life force. That feeling of aliveness in your body, not the hustle, not the adrenaline, but that quiet, natural vitality that reminds you, I'm alive. And when we're stuck in survival mode, that energy gets suppressed. We're managing, we're coping, we're just making it through the day. And when we allow ourselves to play, even in small ways, that life force energy starts to come back online. You feel lighter, more present. And joy isn't something that you force, it's something you allow and you give yourself permission. It doesn't have to be just like all of these things that we talk about, it doesn't have to be a big deal, this big moment, this plan. Like we were just walking down the road, and I was like, hey, let's go do this. Because it's something that I love to do, and I wanted to share that with her and to show also show her like how easy it is. You know, we're both in our 50s and we're swinging on the swing at the park. Maybe, you know, I don't know what that joy is for you, what that pleasure is for you. I mean, even like talking about pleasure, let's say you're eating a delicious, I'm gonna say ice cream because I love ice cream, but like you just take it in and you just enjoy every single bite and like feel the pleasure in your body. It only takes a moment to be present and really be in that moment and allow yourself the pleasure. This is so important because so many people are waiting for life to feel lighter or less stressful or less going on before they allow themselves to enjoy it. I'm gonna wait until this is done, until I can celebrate. I'm gonna wait, I'm gonna wait. And, but even allowing joy, even just for a few minutes, is what actually creates the lightness and the presence. Play brings us into the present moment, into our bodies, out of our heads. It regulates us, it softens us, it reconnects us with ourselves. And sometimes healing doesn't look like processing or fixing. Sometimes it looks like laughing or swinging or doodling or moving your body and doing something simply because it feels good. So since this episode is about curiosity, permission, and aliveness and pleasure, let's see what comes through from the magic of what if card deck. I'm gonna pull from volume two today. They're available on my website, purepossibilitiespodcast.com under shop. And here we go. Okay, today's card. What if I'm surrounded by love and support in every moment? You are there's so much love out there, and we don't always feel like we're loved and supported, just like we don't always feel like obstacles or opportunities. So often you are loved more deeply by the people in your life than you may even realize, and by your higher power, and really I know that there's a deep love that you have for yourself, even if you aren't recognizing that in this moment. But when you allow yourself to truly enjoy the pleasures in life, and allow yourself to have fun and be playful and curious, it reminds you that you love yourself and you love the childhood version of you, and you can play and have fun and reconnect with what we're really here for. To grow and expand and also to have fun. We're only here for so long, and so why not enjoy the time that you're here? Before we close, I wanted to offer you just a couple of reflection questions this week. No pressure, no overthinking. I wanted this episode to be a little lighter and a little more playful. If it feels safe and comfortable, go ahead and soften your gaze or close your eyes and take a deep breath in. And release. Question number one. What did I love doing as a child, or what made me laugh that I've forgotten about? Question number two. What's one small pressure-free way I could invite more play, joy, or pleasure into my week or even into my day? Doesn't need to be productive, doesn't need to make sense, and it doesn't need to last for very long. Just allow whatever comes up for you to come up. Joy isn't something that you earn. It's not something that you age out of. Sometimes the most powerful thing that you can do for yourself is to allow yourself to feel good, even if it's just for a few minutes. You are allowed to enjoy your life. You should, I'm gonna shoot on you. You should enjoy your life. You're allowed to laugh, you're allowed to play, you're allowed to not take everything so seriously. Have some fun and just play and enjoy and you know, color in a coloring book, or blow bubbles, or go swing on a swing, or just take a few minutes to just dance, you know, and just be silly and have fun. I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful day and an amazing week. Much love.