Why We Feel Like There’s Never Enough Time (Ep #13 - Relationship Series)

What if the real issue isn’t that you don’t have time… but that you haven’t looked closely at where it’s actually going?

In this episode we explore something many people never think about as a relationship - your relationship with time.  We often say we’re busy. We rush from one obligation to the next.  And we assume the things that matter most will happen “later.” But what if the way you're spending your time is quietly shaping the life you're living?

Through personal reflection, real-life observations, and practical insights, this episode invites you to get radically honest about where your time is going - and whether it truly reflects what matters to you.  You’ll also learn simple ways to begin shifting your relationship with time by creating small, intentional pockets of space in your life.

Because the way you spend your time… eventually becomes your life.

In This Episode We Explore

• Why “being busy” can become an identity
 • How your relationship with yourself shapes your relationship with time
 • The hidden gap between what we say matters and where our time actually goes
 • How constant distraction can pull us out of the moments that matter
 • Four ways to start shifting your relationship with time

A Small Experiment to Try This Week

Choose one small thing that matters to you - something you’ve been putting off.  Then intentionally create a pocket of time to do it.  Not because you finally “found” the time, but because you chose to make the time.

Notice how it feels.  

✨Reflection Questions✨

Take a few moments to sit with these questions this week:

• Where am I currently spending most of my time?
 • Does the way I spend my time reflect what truly matters to me?
 • Where might I be using “I’m too busy” as a way to avoid something I actually want - or something that needs to be addressed?

Your relationship with time is one of the most honest mirrors you have and it's something we can never get back.  What if you're more intentional with how you're spending your time?

Transcript

A Small Task Sparks A Shift

Shannon 0:00

Welcome back. You're listening to the Pure Possibilities Podcast. I'm your host, Shannon. And something happened this weekend that made me start thinking about time in a slightly different way. I've had a couple of small projects on my list of things to do. And they had been kind of sitting there for a while. They weren't massive. It was just like organizing my office, cleaning up my room a little bit, cleaning up my closet a little bit, and just really focusing on cleaning up my environment and my space because I know how that can impact like my productivity. And for weeks I kept telling myself I didn't have time. You know, that feeling, I'll get to it later. But this weekend, I finally created space to do it because it wasn't that I actually didn't have time. It was that I wasn't creating the time to do it. And the funny part about it was that it didn't actually take very long, maybe an hour, maybe two. But the feeling that I had afterward was incredible. And it wasn't because it was some massively huge accomplishment, but because I had finally created the space to do something that was important to me and it was something that mattered. And it got me thinking about our relationship with time. When I started this relationship series, it came from the realization that everything in our life is a relationship. We have relationships with partners, with friends, with money, with our bodies, with the world around us. But there's another relationship that influences every part of our life. And that's our relationship with time. Because the way you relate to time shapes what you prioritize, what you postpone, and whether you're actually creating space for the things that matter to you. Have you ever noticed in conversations with your friends or family where everybody's talking about how busy they are? I'm so busy. Things have just been crazy. I just don't have any time. There's so much going on. And it's almost like being busy has become like this badge of honor. Like we're constantly rushing from one thing to the next. And if we can show everyone how busy we are, it's almost like it makes you more important or like that you're doing life the right way. But when you pause and take a look a little bit closer, your relationship with time can tell a lot about how you're actually living. Because when we say we don't have time, what we're often saying is that our time is already being spent somewhere else. And sometimes we haven't really stopped to take a look at where it's actually going. You know, one of the core things that I teach is that your relationship with yourself sets the tone for all of your relationships. And that includes your relationship with time. If you are constantly abandoning yourself by putting your needs last, by overfilling your schedule, saying yes when you mean no, then your relationship with time will usually feel pretty rushed and depleted. But when you create small pockets of time for yourself, even the really small ones, something shifts and you reconnect with yourself. And when you reconnect with yourself, the way you spend your time starts to change. And when you're also prioritizing what's important to you, I talk a lot about being radically honest with ourselves because if we're not being honest with ourselves, we don't create the opportunity to actually make a shift. So here's a question that I want you to sit with for a moment. Are you actually doing the things that you want to be doing? And I'm not talking about the things that you feel obligated to do, not the things that other people expect you to do, the things that actually matter to you and that you want to be doing. Is there a project that you've been putting off? Maybe something creative that you've wanted to explore? Is there someone important in your life that you've been meaning to spend time with? Is there something on your calendar that you said yes to? But if you're being honest with yourself, you don't really want to be doing it. Because the way you spend your time, that becomes your life. And a lot of times we get stuck in the concept of I'll do it later, or the idea of later. I'll start that later, I'll focus on myself later, I'll do the things that I love later. But time moves very quickly, and it's easy to assume that there will always be more of it tomorrow, next year, someday. You ever say someday? I'll do that someday. And sometimes someday never comes. And it's not because life is always dramatic or tragic. I mean, it can be, but a lot of times that happens because we stayed busy. And it's not even, it's not even just the busyness. It can also be are you being present in the time that you have? Because some people technically have time, but they aren't actually inside their life while it's happening. They're not truly present. And don't give me a like, this is not judgment. Because I catch myself doing this too: grabbing my phone, scrolling, multitasking, that constant stimulation. You might finally have a quiet moment, but your attention is somewhere completely different. You could be sitting out to dinner with someone that you care about, but your mind is like on the next thing and you're not actually present enjoying that moment, or you keep grabbing your phone while you're in the middle of a conversation. So the question isn't only how are you spending your time? It's also, are you actually present in your life while it's happening? I tend to go out to dinner a lot with my sister. And one thing, and again, it's not this is not from a place of judgment. It's a place of noticing. Like, I can't tell you how often I notice we'll be out to dinner and you look around at the tables around you. And have you ever noticed how often you see two or three people sitting at a table and everyone is on their phone? So what if we actually enjoyed the time and the moments with our people and you know, put away your phone and be truly present and engaged? That engagement and that connection will likely fill you up more than you can possibly imagine. And I mean, honestly, if you're finding that you don't have things to talk about, you know, you can you can prep yourself before you go. Like, what are some things that I want to ask my partner, my friend? You know, what are things I'm curious about? What's going on with them? People do love to talk about themselves, they really do. And so ask prompting questions while you're out and about. Okay, I'm I'm going down a different path. Okay, let's refocus. So, what are four ways that you can shift your relationship with time? This episode, it's not really about time management. It's like many things, it's about honesty. But here are a few simple places that you can start with getting curious about how you're spending your time. So, first of all, notice where is your time actually going? So, for a couple of days, and I'm gonna invite you to do this without judging it, just observing how much time are you on your phone? How much time are you working? How much time are you rushing around from one thing to the next? How much time are you actually present in the moment? Most people will be surprised by what they discover. And you can't actually shift something if you aren't aware of it. And so, again, being radically honest with ourselves, it doesn't always feel good to be honest with ourselves because then it can open our eyes to things that maybe we didn't want to see. However, you can't shift something that you're not aware of. And so this is a really important first step. Number two, identify what actually matters to you. Ask yourself what truly matters in my life? My relationships, my health, my creativity, rest, creating connections in my life. And then ask yourself honestly, does my calendar actually reflect that? And sometimes the discomfort we feel around time comes from the gap that happens between what we say matters or what we say is important to us and where our time is actually going. Number three, create intentional pockets of time. This is something I talk about a lot here, and I talk a lot about with my clients is creating small pockets of time for yourself. And a lot of times we will minimize how important it is to do that. But those micro moments where you reconnect with yourself can really truly fill your cup and shift how you show up in your life. So a small moment where you maybe go for a walk, create five minutes of quiet time and space, calling a friend, listening to music, shaking your ass, taking a break during your work day, or maybe it looks like what I did this weekend. Maybe you're just creating space to do something small that had been on your list for a while, but that was important to you. Those moments interrupt that pattern of constantly abandoning yourself. And number four, stop wearing busy like a badge of honor. Our culture truly glorifies busyness, but that constant busyness often means we're disconnected from our lives. You can be productive without living in a constant state of urgency. And sometimes the biggest shift is simply refusing to glorify being overwhelmed and busy all the time. Before we move into the reflection questions, here's a little experiment I would like to invite you to try this week. Choose one thing that matters to you or has been important to you that you maybe haven't created the time or space to do it. Keep it simple. It might be organizing a space in your home, going for a walk, calling somebody you care about, or spending a few minutes on a project that you've been putting off, and then intentionally create a small pocket of time for it. Not because you finally found the time, but being intentional to choose to make the time is huge. And after you do it, notice how it feels. Because sometimes it's not about the task itself, it's about the shift that happens within you when you stop postponing things, stop abandoning yourself, and you shift into doing something that matters to you and that's important to you. And you start creating space for those things in your life. So let's go ahead and move into the reflection questions. I will post these in the show description as well. If you aren't able to create the space and time to reflect on them right now, if it feels safe and comfortable, go ahead and close your eyes or soften your gaze and take a slow deep breath in and release. Where am I currently spending most of my time? Does the way I spend my time reflect what truly matters to me? Where might I be using I'm too busy as a way to avoid something I actually want or something that actually needs to be addressed? Just notice what comes up. No judgment, just awareness. Sometimes we keep ourselves so busy that we don't allow ourselves the opportunity to sit with ourselves. Because when you sit with yourself, sometimes that can be really uncomfortable because then things start to come through for you. Maybe your mind starts wandering or you start recognizing that you do actually want something to change in your life. And staying busy is a way to avoid facing some of those things head on. That's just something to think about, something to consider for sure. All right, I'm gonna go ahead and pull a card from the magic of what if card deck volume two. And today's card is what if I prioritize my own value? What if I prioritize my own value? Again, you are important. And if you're allowing your time to be taken and consumed by everybody else and what everyone else wants rather than what is important to you, remember that you're valuable. You are also important, and what you want and how you spend your time, it matters. So, what if I prioritize my own value? Oh, I love that card. Your relationship with time is one of the most honest mirrors that you have. It shows what you prioritize, it shows where your attention goes, and it shapes the life that you're living and the life that you're creating for yourself. Time is one of the few things in life that we never get back, but we do get to choose how we spend it. So are you choosing to spend it in a way that feels good to you? Are you choosing to do the things that matter to you? Are you choosing to do the things that you want to do? When you begin creating space for yourself, even in small ways and being honest with yourself, you strengthen the most important relationship that you have, the one with yourself. Thank you so much for being here. Have a beautiful, beautiful day and an amazing week. Much love.