Your Relationship With: What’s Going Well (Ep #17 Relationship Series)

What if more is already working in your life than you’re giving yourself credit for? What if you’re overlooking the very things you’ve been wanting?

You can do years of inner work and still miss the most important proof that it’s working the life you’re living right now. In this episode, I’m shifting the focus away from constant fixing and into something more honest and stabilizing noticing what’s already good, steady, and true. Not as a surface level “positive thinking” approach, but as real awareness that helps you recognize your growth and stop reinforcing the story that nothing is changing.

We talk about why progress often gets dismissed when it starts to feel normal, and why the micro shifts actually matter. The way you respond to triggers, the boundaries you set, the moments you choose rest, the times you allow yourself to feel instead of avoid these are the building blocks of real change and healthier relationships. When you begin to notice what’s working, your nervous system can register safety, and self trust becomes something you can feel because there’s evidence, not just effort.

I also walk you through reflection questions you can come back to throughout the week and pull a card from the Magic of What If Card Deck Volume 2. What if the answers are found within the energy I allow into my life?  We explore this in a practical way looking at the energy you bring into your day, what you allow into your space, and how small shifts can change more than you realize over time.

✨Reflection questions to sit with this week✨
 What’s actually going well in my life right now?
 What have I shifted or handled differently that I haven’t acknowledged?
 Where am I discounting something that actually matters?

You don’t have to wait until everything is perfect to recognize that something is already working. When you begin to see that, everything starts to shift.

Transcript

Welcome And The Pivot

Shannon 0:00

Welcome, you're listening to the Pure Possibilities podcast, and I am your host, Shannon. We've been in a really deep stretch of this relationship series, and we've been talking about what's not working, what we want to change, what we're avoiding, where we don't trust ourselves, and all of that is so incredibly important. It's funny, I was gonna do today's episode about what's your relationship with fear, and then when I woke up, I was like, I feel like we need a little bit of a shift because something that happens all the time, and something that I have absolutely done myself is that we get so focused on what's not working that we completely overlook what is. What if we appreciate where we're at? What if we appreciate all of the goodness that is currently in our life? I was actually chatting with a client the other day about her own journey. And she was talking about how she feels like she's done a really good job of celebrating herself and truly appreciating where she's been along the journey, not just waiting to get to the end, but really celebrating herself as she goes along. And I cannot tell you how important that is. Not only acknowledging and celebrating yourself, but also just recognizing where things are actually really good, like what's really good in your life. Because we have a tendency or we can have a tendency to focus on what's not working, what's not going well, where we need to shift something, where something needs to change, where we're not happy, where we're in a space of lack. And what if we take a moment to celebrate where we're at? Because we don't always pause and ask, what's actually going well right now? What feels good? What am I happy with? And no, we're not talking like surface level, but in a real honest way. Because being radically honest with ourselves about what is working is just as important as what might need to shift. And so taking that moment to pause and check in and say, hey, what's actually going really well in my life right now? And we're not just talking about thinking positive, you know, good vibes only. That's not, that's not what we're talking about here. But really being in a state of awareness of where are you actually at right now and what what's going good? What's maybe something that you had dreamt of or wanted so badly? And you can see that some of that is actually appearing and showing up in your current lived experience. Because when you don't recognize what's working, you're going to keep reinforcing that idea of nothing is working. I'm not where I should be, I'm not where I want to be. I need to fix more, whether it's more in my life or more in my current lived experience. But that's not always actually true. And we will often dismiss what's going well, because sometimes what's going well feels normal. It feels insignificant, and it feels kind of expected. So we minimize it and we say things like, that's not a big deal. I should be doing that. That doesn't really count, but it does count. It all counts. What's going well might look like you are finding yourself responding differently in situations that might used to trigger or activate you. You might be more aware of your patterns and how you're showing up. You might be taking care of yourself in ways that you didn't before. You might be setting small boundaries either with other people or with yourself. You might be noticing your emotions instead of actually avoiding them. You could be giving yourself space and time and rest and allowing a little more ease into your day. And these aren't small things. These are the micro shifts that we talk about because we are creating our life with all of the decisions that we make on a daily basis. And what's currently happening in your lived experience might be something that you had hoped and prayed and dreamed for, but are you stopping long enough to go, oh hey, it's actually here? So when you start to notice what's actually going well, your body and your nervous system begin to register safety. And it starts to feel like, oh, this might actually be working. I'm okay. I can trust this process. I can trust my path that I'm on. And that can shift how you continue to move forward and the decisions and choices that you make. Because when you acknowledge what's working, you start to see the evidence. Because although ultimately we want to believe it before we see it, our logical mind pops in and is like, I need to see some evidence. And so when you start to see the evidence that you're changing, that you're growing, that you're moving forward, and that self-trust is built through the evidence, not just the effort, it starts to make more sense and feel like the effort that you're putting into your growth and expansion and the time that you're taking for yourself and the things that you're doing, they do actually matter. So this doesn't mean that you're ignoring what needs attention or pretending everything is perfect. It means that you can actually witness both and you can have both. I can want more, and I can acknowledge and appreciate and be grateful for what's already good in this moment. So I would like to invite you to pause and just check in. Not with what needs to change, not with what's missing. We're not going down the scarcity mindset, but with what's already here in this moment. That happened to me. I had wanted freedom so badly. And I have so much freedom in my life now, which is amazing. And sometimes I almost forget that I have that freedom in my life right now, and honestly, sometimes take it a little bit for granted. And so acknowledging and appreciating that the decisions and the choices that I've made have created this experience for me that I get to choose. I get to choose how I want to spend my day. I get to choose what my next step is. I get to choose all of these things. And that is a level of freedom that I had always wanted. And it also feels a little bit scary sometimes, but I'm going to choose right now, in this moment, to appreciate that something that I had wanted so deeply and so badly is here now. We're going to move into our reflection questions for the week. And if it feels comfortable and safe to do so, go ahead and close your eyes or stop in your gaze. Take a deep breath in and release. What's actually going well in my life right now? What have I shifted or handled differently that I haven't acknowledged? And where am I discounting something that actually matters? Just notice what comes up. You might find in this moment that you have more to appreciate and be grateful for than you realized just from taking that moment to pause. Alright, we're gonna go ahead and pull a card from the Magic of What If Card Deck Volume 2. See what the energy is of the cards for today's episode. Do a quick little shuffle here and see what comes through. These decks are available on my website, purepossibilitiespodcast.com. If you'd love to own your own deck. All right, the card for today is what if the answers are found within the energy I allow into my life? That is a very interesting card because we are all energy and everything is energy. And when you are consciously aware of what's going on around you and what your energy is and the energy that you're allowing in, you'll notice when energy shifts. You notice when you walk into a room and what the energy is like, and what energy are you taking into that space? And you can also notice when someone else maybe comes into your space and the energy shifts. I actually had that come up a couple of times in the last two weeks or so, where I've had people mention, wow, the energy really shifted when that person came into the room. And it definitely wasn't in a good way. And so it's true, like when we're paying attention to the energy that we're bringing and also the energy that other people are bringing, it's kind of fascinating. And I believe that one of the most beautiful compliments you can ever receive is that people love to be in your energy. And so it's a great question to ask yourself. You know, what energy am I bringing into this space? Anytime that you walk into a room, anytime you're even with yourself, what energy am I bringing into this moment? And if it's not an energy that feels good, what can I do to shift it even by just a little bit? So I would just love to remind you that you don't have to wait until everything is perfect, because perfect is perfectionism, really isn't a thing. You don't have to wait until everything is exactly the way you feel like you want it to be to recognize that something is already working. And when you begin to see that, you stop moving through your life, feeling like there's always something wrong or something needing to be fixed, and you start moving through your life with a little more confidence, a little more curiosity, a little more trust, and a little more appreciation for where you already are. Thank you for being here. Have a beautiful, beautiful day and an amazing week. Much love.