Are You Creating Problems Where There Aren’t Any? (Relationship Series Ep #19)

What if nothing is actually wrong… but your mind is trying to find something anyway?

In this episode, I share a real moment from my own life where I noticed I wasn’t feeling much of anything - just neutral. And instead of allowing that, my mind immediately started searching for a problem to solve, something to fix, or something to feel.

We explore why that happens, how we’ve been conditioned to constantly analyze and improve, and why the space where nothing needs your attention can feel uncomfortable.

I also share a powerful reframe around the “neutral space” and how it may actually be a state of pure possibility 😉 rather than something to escape.

If you’ve ever felt like something must be wrong… even when it isn’t, this episode will help you understand why—and what to do instead.

✨ Reflection Questions ✨

Am I trying to create a problem where there isn’t one?

What does this neutral space actually feel like in my body?

What if this moment isn’t empty, but full of possibility?

Not every moment needs to be solved.  Some moments are just meant to be lived.❤

Transcript

Welcome And Topic Choosing

Shannon 0:00

Welcome back. You're listening to the Peer Possibilities podcast, and I'm your host, Shannon. So it's interesting. I have a list of topics that I've been wanting to talk about for the relationship series. But every week I choose to record what feels intuitively or energetically aligned for whatever happens to be going on. So I don't really record very far in advance. And this week, the last couple of weeks, I've had a topic that just isn't landing for me right now. And it was interesting because last night and today I'm like, what do I want to talk about this week? I I don't know. I really just honestly wasn't feeling anything. And not in not in a bad way, just kind of in a space of neutrality. And so what's interesting is that my mind immediately started to find something. It was, you know, do I need a topic? Is there something to fix? Do we need to find a problem? Something to talk about? And it made me wonder, are we always, are we always looking for something to be wrong? Or that there has to be a problem? Because the thing is, it's not like there's nothing going on in my life right now. I'm actually, I have a surgery coming up in the next month where I'm not going to be able to walk for about six weeks. So I have various doctor's appointments, the dentist, I have things that I'm trying to get done to prepare for that. And I'm also creating space to do some fun things because I'm not going to be very mobile and not going to be able to move around as much. And so it's not as though my life is empty and there's nothing happening. It's just kind of flowing. And I think that part of that can feel a little bit unfamiliar because we're used to either feeling really good or feeling really off. And sometimes there's discomfort that comes with feeling really good, like, oh my gosh, how long is this gonna last? Something bad is bound to happen. Or there's something that we need to react to, something we need to fix, something we need to figure out. And I know that a lot of the content that I share here is about getting curious and having awareness about things. And so there tends to be a lot of things, not necessarily wrong per se, but things that we're looking into and getting curious about and maybe making a shift. And when that isn't there, it can feel like something's missing and that something might be wrong. So what do we do? We start looking, we start to look for something to fix or analyze or change, or maybe we need to be feeling something in a certain moment, scrolling, watching something, distracting ourselves. And it was funny because even last night I was trying to find a show to watch. I was just having kind of a chill evening. And I swear I tried to watch like six or seven different shows, and nothing was nothing was hitting. I'm just like, okay, well, maybe I'm meant to be doing something else. I mean, right now I'm in a space where I'm not overly mobile anyway, just because of the surgery that I'm gonna be having. And so I am taking it quite easy. And so sometimes that creates boredom, I guess, right? So anyway, I ended up just putting on a movie that was familiar, one that I like, but then I honestly just ended up falling asleep. And it was just this moment that made me realize like, how often are we trying to find something to feel, to do, to be, or creating a problem. So this actually made me think of a conversation that I had with one of my mentors a while back. And it was funny because I actually wanted to know if there was something wrong with me. Because I said to her, I said, you know, I spend a lot of time alone and I'm not always like super duper happy and bouncing off the walls, but I'm not necessarily feeling really down in the dumps or feeling bad. I'm just kind of just being. And I honestly thought that there was something wrong with me. And she said, you're in a state of pure possibility where you can choose to go up or you can choose to go down. And that obviously stayed with me because I ended up naming my business pure possibilities, in addition to then naming the podcast pure possibilities. But first, I think it's funny that I thought that there was something wrong with me just because I was just like in a neutral space. And you really can choose when you are in that state of pure possibility. You can choose to go up or you can choose to go down. But what if we also take a look at shifting our perspective on that and actually just allow neutral to also be an okay space to be in without it meaning that there's something wrong with you? And so if we shift our perspective on this space that we sometimes want to escape because it feels like something might be wrong with us, to actually view it as a space where anything is possible. When what if nothing needing your attention right now isn't actually a problem, but actually a space? Sometimes nothing is wrong. And we don't know what to do with that because we feel like we feel discomfort in the space when something isn't wrong, nothing needs to be fixed, and we're just being, we're just living, we're just in the moment, like we talked about last week, with allowing your mind and your body to be exactly in the same place and staying in the present moment. What if you just are? What if you are just being and nothing has to be fixed? And this is honestly, this is where the relationship with yourself can really show up. Are you able to stay with yourself when nothing is pulling you strongly in any direction? Can you allow a moment to just be without needing to change it? So just notice are you in a moment right now where maybe nothing's actually wrong, but your mind is trying to find something. And if that happens to be the case for you, what would it feel like to not follow that? To just allow yourself to just be and not look for anything to be wrong in this particular moment. Just be. Number two, what does this neutral space actually feel like in my body? And number three, what if this moment isn't empty but full of possibility? Just notice what comes up. Sometimes, like when you take a look at the question, what does this neutral space actually feel like in my body? Sometimes it feels uncomfortable because you feel like you should be doing or you should be analyzing or processing or breaking something down or solving something. And that can feel uncomfortable in your body. Tune in to where you're actually feeling that in your body when that comes up. All right, we're gonna go ahead and pull a card from the magic of what if card deck. We're gonna do volume one today. And the card decks are available on my website, purepossibilitiespodcast.com. Okay, today's card. What if I allow the universe to surprise and delight me? That's one of my favorite cards. I have so many favorites, but that's also allowing yourself to be in that state of pure possibility. What if I allow the universe to surprise and delight me? I actually like to just throw that thought out there pretty much every day just to see what might happen. You don't always have to be fixing something or chasing after a feeling or trying to change where you are. Sometimes you're just in a moment where nothing is necessarily pulling you strongly in any direction. And that doesn't mean that something is wrong. It might just mean you're in a space where anything is possible. Not every moment needs to be solved. Some moments are just meant to be lived. Thank you so much for being here. Have a beautiful, beautiful day and an amazing week. Much love.