Trusting What You Can’t Yet See (Relationship Series Ep #22)

What if progress is happening… even when you can't see it?

In this episode, I share some of the unexpected lessons I've been learning while recovering from reconstructive foot surgery and how they've mirrored so many aspects of life. From trusting a healing process that's happening beneath the surface to allowing myself to receive support, this experience has reminded me that not all growth is immediately visible.

We talk about our need for proof, why we often abandon the process too soon, and how personal growth, healing, boundaries, self-trust, and even business often require patience before we see tangible results. I also share how differently I've navigated this surgery compared to a similar experience years ago, and why responding differently is often the evidence that growth is already happening.

Plus, I pull a card from the Magic of What If deck that couldn't have aligned more perfectly with the conversation. 💜

✨Reflection Questions✨

• Where in my life am I looking for proof that something is working?

• What might be happening beneath the surface that I can't yet see?

• What would change if I trusted the process a little bit more?

Sometimes the most important transformations are happening beneath the surface long before anyone else can see them… including you.

Transcript

Welcome And Recovery Context

Shannon 0:01

Welcome or welcome back. You are listening to the Pure Possibilities podcast, and I'm your host, Shannon. Before we dive into today's episode, I want to give you a little bit of context about what we're going to talk about because I'm not sure if this is something that I talked about only in the podcast community or if I also talked about it here.

Non Weight Bearing Reality Check

Shannon 0:24

So I am in the process of recovering from a pretty major reconstructive surgery on my right foot. And I am non-weight bearing for it ends up being a total of about three months. And I'm only about two and a half weeks in. So what that means, being non-weight bearing, means I cannot put any weight on my foot for three months. And I can't walk on it while it's healing. I get to use a knee scooter to get around. And I had kind of a traumatic experience with crutches at one point. So I don't use those several years ago. So I am incredibly grateful for my knee scooter. And over the last couple of weeks, I have had a lot of time to think. Probably more time than I have wanted. I also think it's important to note that it's possible over the next several weeks, episodes may be a little more inconsistent as I'm navigating my recoveries. I appreciate your patience as I navigate through my healing because it's been really important to me to allow myself time to rest and to heal. And so I am taking the time out to do that. But it was interesting. One morning I woke up with a very interesting realization. I do have moments of pain. It's actually not nearly as bad as it has been in the past, but I've had moments where my foot doesn't actually hurt that much. And there's moments where I actually feel pretty good. And because I feel better, there's this part of me that wants to get up and walk on it. I have a boot on my foot. And so when I have a boot on, I often think, oh, I can just walk. And I have to be really intentional about not walking because I'm not allowed to. And a part of me thinks that, you know, maybe it would be okay now. And maybe it's healed enough. And maybe I can do a little bit more. But the reality is, I am absolutely not allowed to put weight on my foot. And it's not because something is wrong. It's not because the healing isn't happening, but because the healing is happening and the work is happening beneath the surface. My body is rebuilding. And just because I can't see it, it

Healing You Cannot See Yet

Shannon 3:09

doesn't mean it's not happening. And the more I sat with that, it was like, oh, that kind of relates to life now, doesn't it? Life often happens in that exact same way. And we so often, as humans, want proof. We love to have evidence. We want proof, we want certainty, we want reassurance, we want to know: is this working? Am I making progress? Is anything actually changing in my life? And when we can't immediately see that result, we often assume nothing is happening. And I think about that all the time in personal growth. Someone starts setting boundaries and nothing changes overnight. Someone starts working on regulating their nervous system and they don't necessarily feel like anything is changing immediately. Someone starts a business, they start healing, they start rebuilding trust in themselves. And because the change isn't instantaneous and immediately visible, they assume it's not working. But what if something is actually happening? What if it's simply happening beneath the surface and you just can't see it? Right now, I cannot see what's happening inside of my foot. I can't see the tissue healing. I can't see the bone strengthening. I have these big, massive screws in my foot. I can't really see the inflammation settling. I can't see the thousands of tiny little things my body is doing every day to repair itself. But I trust that it's happening, or at least I'm trying to, or at least I'm learning to trust that it's happening because it does get a little overwhelming sometimes. And if I decided to ignore the process and start walking on it simply because I feel a little bit better, I could actually slow down the healing. And I think we do that a lot in life. We stop too soon, we abandon the process too early because we're not seeing the actual evidence. We assume because the pain has lessened, the healing must be complete. But those aren't always the same thing.

Measuring Growth By Your Response

Shannon 5:40

One of the things that's been really fascinating about this experience is that it's not my first foot surgery. I've been through something very similar before, almost the exact same surgery. And if I'm being completely honest, the last experience was much harder physically and emotionally. I had some massive complications. I was more reactive, I was more frustrated, I was more focused on what I couldn't do. I ended up having to have multiple surgeries because I accidentally slipped on my crutches and broke the screws in my foot. And so even going into this surgery, I was, I wouldn't say that I was overly preparing, but I was very anxious because of the traumatic experience I had had last time I had this surgery. And so I was overparing and doing all of these things. But there was still that little part of me that was really unsure of how this was going to go. And this whole experience, while it certainly hasn't been perfect by any means, I've noticed how much I have grown and how differently I'm handling this entire experience. And it's not because I don't have hard days, because believe me, I do. And it's not because I don't get frustrated. It's not because I'm somehow like massively enlightened now and everything is perfect, but because I'm responding differently. And that's where our evidence starts to really come through, is when you notice that you're responding to something differently than maybe you had before. That's what our evidence is. And sometimes that's what growth looks like. It's not the absence of the struggle, but a different relationship with it. And once you start to notice how you respond differently to situations than you might have in the past, it feels really good, let me tell you.

Learning To Receive Support

Shannon 7:46

But one of the biggest lessons I've been learning from this experience is receiving. And honestly, I don't think I realized how much I needed this lesson. And you know, things happen in our lives to move us forward. And for a long time, I lived on one side of the spectrum, and I was very focused outside of myself on other people, on overgiving, overhelping, and really losing myself in the process and honestly not even knowing who I was anymore. And then I went really far the other direction and I became fiercely independent. I can do it myself. I've got it. I don't need help. And while independence can be a beautiful, beautiful thing, there comes a point where refusing to allow support isn't actually freedom either. And sometimes healing asks us to receive, to let people help, to ask for help, to allow support, to let someone carry something for you, to drive you somewhere, to check in on you, to bring you a meal, or simply be there. And honestly, that has been one of the hardest and most beautiful parts of this experience because I cannot drive. I need help with a lot of things. And I mean, even right now, I'm not even taking a shower without letting somebody know that I'm getting into the shower because what if I fall? And opening myself up and allowing, like, I have so many amazing people in my life that have come through. I have so many amazing people in my life that have come forward to help me and support me and love me and be here for me. It's absolutely incredible. And they're not doing it because they have to. They are choosing to help me. And I'm so incredibly grateful. And that also when people want to help you, if you don't allow yourself to receive it, you're also taking something away from them because how good does it feel when you help someone else out? Like it feels really good, right? And so sometimes we shut down our receiving and we're taking that away. We're taking that good, amazing feeling away from someone else. And also being the recipient of that support and that love has been truly incredible for me over these last couple of weeks. I am learning that there is a balance between dependence and connection. And maybe that's what receiving really is. It's not a weakness, it's not burdening people, it's connection. I've had friends and family coming and visiting me, and we sit and we chat, and we're having a good time. I've been able to play card games and really rest and enjoy and connect with people in my life, and it's been really amazing.

Trusting Timing And The Seed Metaphor

Shannon 11:17

So things happen in our life, and we don't always understand why. Because when I found out that I needed to have surgery, the timing did not feel amazing. And this entire experience, I feel like, has been about trust and allowing myself to receive, trusting the healing, trusting the timing, trusting my body, trusting the process, trusting that people are going to be here to help me when I need them, even when I can't see results. And that's not always easy because we live in a world that wants immediate results, wants immediate answers, wants immediate proof that everything is working. But some things require patience, some things require faith, some things require us to continue showing up even when we don't yet have the evidence that everything is working. You don't put a seed in the ground and then dig it up every morning to make sure that it's growing, a seed or a tree or whatever. You trust, you water it, you care for it, and for a while, nothing appears to really be happening until one day something breaks through the surface, and you see that little sprout, and everyone celebrates what they can finally see. But the growth started long before that moment. The growth was happening underground, invisible, quietly, consistently. And maybe there are areas of your life where that's also true.

Reflection Questions For Trust

Shannon 13:06

So let's jump into our reflection questions. They will also be posted in the show description. If you don't have the time available right now in this moment, you can come back to them. If it feels comfortable and safe to do so, go ahead and take a deep breath in and release. Reflection question number one. Where in my life am I looking for proof that something is working? Number two, what might be happening beneath the surface that I can't yet see? Number three, what would change if I trusted the process a little bit more and just notice what comes up for you? Just notice. It's always important to get curious.

Card Pull On Hidden Opportunities

Shannon 13:53

Okay, so now it's time for a card pull. If you are new to the show or unfamiliar, there's two decks that I created, and they are called the Magic of What If. They are available on my website, purepossibilitiespodcast.com, and we pull a card during the episode to just kind of see what the energy is. So I'm gonna actually go ahead and pull a card from the Magic of What If card deck volume two. Let me do a quick little shuffle here. And what is the card for today? What if my challenges are actually opportunities in disguise? What if my challenges are actually opportunities in disguise? Well, can I tell you that I'm definitely in a space of challenges right now. I was thinking the other day, like, I can't even get down my stairs to like get a package off the porch. I have stairs in my house, which fortunately, my upstairs, I can just scoot around. But for the most part, like when I need to get in and out, it's it's a little bit challenging. So this whole situation that I'm in definitely has some challenges. And I know that there are multiple opportunities within it. I mean, I've even just talked about the opportunities for my own personal growth that have been happening just in the short couple of weeks that I've been navigating through this. And so we often look at obstacles and get really frustrated. And we don't always know why it's happening in that moment. And it can be irritating and frustrating, and we we don't know the why. And sometimes that makes us feel a little bit stuck or it paralyzes us from moving forward. But when you can choose to look at your obstacles as an opportunity for you to learn something, to grow, I feel like there's a lesson in almost everything. And even if it's trusting that maybe you don't understand it in the moment, that you're gonna eventually it's eventually gonna make sense to you. So what if my challenges are actually opportunities in disguise? Love that card, and I love how aligned it is with today's conversation. All right.

Closing Thoughts On Invisible Change

Shannon 16:24

So my foot is healing. Whether I watch it every minute of every day or not, the healing is happening underneath the surface. And maybe there are areas of your life where the same thing is true. Maybe you don't need to force it, maybe you don't need to rush it, maybe you don't need all of the evidence today. Maybe you simply need to trust that not all growth is immediately visible because sometimes the most important transformations are happening beneath the surface long before anyone else can see them, including you. Thank you so much for being here. I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful day and an amazing week. Much love.