What If This Isn't a Detour? (Ep #27 Relationship Series)

Have you ever felt like life completely derailed your plans?

This week, I'm sharing a very personal reflection on how an unexpected season of surgery, recovery, and slowing down shifted the way I view life's interruptions.

What if the things that feel like roadblocks aren't actually taking you off course?  What if they become part of the path?

In this episode, I explore the difference between resistance and acceptance, why the questions we ask ourselves matter, and how choosing curiosity over victimhood has completely changed the way I experience life's unexpected moments.

Sometimes the greatest growth doesn't happen when everything goes according to plan - it happens when we're willing to pause, trust the process, and discover what's possible because life unfolded differently than we expected.

✨ Reflection Questions ✨

1.  Where in my life am I resisting a reality that has already happened? 
2.  What might become possible if I stopped seeing this as a detour and started seeing it as part of my path? 
3.  What opportunity for growth might I be overlooking because I'm focused on how I thought things should have gone? 

Remember that sometimes the very thing that feels like it's getting in your way may one day become part of the story that brought you exactly where you were meant to be. ❤️

Transcript

Welcome To Pure Possibilities

Shannon 0:00

Welcome or welcome back. You're listening to the Pure Possibilities podcast. This is a space to pause, notice, reconnect, and explore what's possible. I'm your host, Shannon. Has your life ever kind of gotten your attention in a certain way and taken a path that you weren't expecting? Things didn't quite go the way you had intended or thought they would, the way you expected. Maybe a relationship ended, or you received a diagnosis, you lost a job, you moved maybe, and it didn't go the way you planned. You had a conversation with someone that completely changed everything in a relationship. Or maybe it's just not going the way you wanted or expected it to. Because I think that most of us have an idea or a picture in our mind of how we expect our life to go. We make plans, we set goals, we create certain timelines. And then, as I like to say, life gets a little bit lifey and it takes you down a completely different

When Life Goes Off Script

Shannon 1:06

path. I was having a conversation with a friend the other day, and we were talking about my surgery and where I'm at with things in my life right now, with my business, in my personal life. And all of a sudden, I said to her, everything is happening exactly as it was meant to, because it's what happened. And I and I kind of paused after I said that. I was like, oh, where did that come from? And it was from this grounded space of acceptance that it just is. It happened this way because it happened. And I kind of sat with that for a little bit after we got off the phone. And it really allowed me the opportunity to sit with what has happened this year. So before we go any further, I want to be really clear. Acceptance does not mean that I wanted surgery. It doesn't mean that I've enjoyed not being able to walk for the last nine weeks. It doesn't mean that I haven't been disappointed, that I haven't been frustrated, that I haven't been annoyed. I've had all the feelings over the last nine weeks. Today was actually a day where I was getting ready and I was doing my hair, and Don't Stop Believing by Journey came on, and I was kind of moving my body. I'm able to put more weight on my foot now. And I was actually standing up, and I was like, I actually feel more like myself today. It's definitely taken time. I do see a light at the end of the walking tunnel. But all of those feelings I've been having are completely real. And being in a space of acceptance isn't acceptance, doesn't mean that you're pretending that it was easy. It's accepting and acknowledging the reality that you're in. And I'm not talking about a space of it just is what it is, because I don't, I don't like that. I don't like that at all. But once something

Acceptance Without Pretending It’s Easy

Shannon 3:20

has happened, I could choose to spend my energy arguing with the reality of the situation, or I can ask a different question instead of asking, why? Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? Why me? Why, why, why? I have been asking the question, what is this making possible? What am I learning? How am I growing? What opportunities are existing now that I couldn't see before? How can I turn this obstacle into an opportunity? And this doesn't mean it hasn't been hard. It doesn't mean it hasn't been hard, but shifting the lens in which I'm viewing my situation shifts my energy toward it and how I'm actually experiencing it. So I could say to myself, this wasn't the plan. This wasn't my plan for the year. This wasn't my plan back in January. Or was it? If you had asked me six months ago what this year was going to look like, this was absolutely not it. Not even remotely close. I had business launches planned, I had business goals, personal goals, I had momentum going. And then everything slowed down and it felt like a detour. But what is so interesting about what's happened is that the stillness and the pause that I've been forced to take created space. Space that I very likely would not have intentionally given myself. I mean, there were even moments during the last nine weeks where I'm like, I need to be doing, I need to be doing. And then I would have to pause and check in and say, no, no, this is a time for rest. This is a time for healing. Allow yourself to just be. So in this space, I have gained clarity, clarity around my business, clarity around serving others and what I really truly want to create around what actually matters. And would I have arrived at those same realizations eventually?

Replacing “Why Me” With Curiosity

Shannon 5:45

Possibly. Maybe, maybe not. But I do know that they happened because I was forced to slow down. And so my question now is what if this wasn't actually a detour? What if it became part of the path? So much of our suffering comes from wishing that our reality was different, that this shouldn't have happened, this isn't fair, this wasn't my plan. And while all of those thoughts that we have are incredibly understandable, they also keep us stuck fighting with something that's already true. Our reality doesn't change because we're arguing with the fact that it's actually happening, but our experience of the reality can shift when we stop resisting it. Acceptance doesn't mean that you're giving up. It means that you're saying, This is where I am. This is what's actually happening or happened. Now, how do I move forward from here? What lessons have I learned? What can I do to move myself forward? How can I grow from this situation? What if you choose curiosity instead of victimhood? I chose to not stay in the why me and not because I'm above it. I've I've absolutely asked that question before. But I've also learned that the why me rarely moves me forward in my life. But being in a space of curiosity absolutely does. Growth does. Asking what can I learn from this does. There is so much freedom in realizing that we don't get to choose everything that happens to us, but we always have a choice in how we relate to what happens and how we view what happens, how we respond to what's happening. So then you're coming from a space of choice. And that space of choice shifts everything. It will continually shift the lens in which you are looking at your current reality and being in a space of acceptance. The other part to this is that we can all have plans, we can all have expectations, we can all have an idea of how we anticipate that things are going to unfold. And the longer I've been connecting with myself and my relationship with myself and shifting my outlook on life, I truly do believe that the things that happen are happening for us and are happening in our highest good. Would I have chosen this? No. However, what I'm experiencing as a result of this and how I'm choosing to view it is absolutely magical. And again, I had moments where I've been like freaking out because I can't do all these things. And also, it has moved me into a state of pure possibility where anything is possible. And being able to acknowledge the growth, acknowledge the learning, acknowledge the need, even though it didn't make sense. It didn't make sense to my logical mind why this would be happening right now when I was moving forward. I was so excited. I had all these plans, and then it all stopped. And now I'm choosing to look at it as being in my highest good and the highest good of those that I'm serving. And that's not always an easy reflection to have, especially in the moment. And I have paused over and over and over again and checked in with myself, checked in with my body, how I'm responding to things, where my mind and my thoughts are going. I pause and check in and do whatever I need to do to move whatever that energy is or redirect my thoughts. And that's not that's not a space of spiritually bypassing what's happening. It's a space of acceptance. And the fact that that statement came out of my mouth without me even thinking, like I wasn't even thinking about it. It gave me such a oh after I said everything is happening exactly as it was meant to, because it's what happened. What if you allow that to be true? What if you allow that to

Guided Reflection And Breath

Shannon 10:42

be true? All right, we are gonna go ahead and move into the reflection questions. They will be posted in the show description if you don't have the time or space available to focus on these right now. If it feels comfortable and safe to do so, go ahead and close your eyes and take a deep breath in. Hold and release. There is so much power in the questions that we ask ourselves. And I believe it's important to notice the first thought that comes up before your logical mind starts taking you down a path of dissecting whatever the answer is that

Worthiness Simply Because You Are

Shannon 11:50

came up. Okay, we are gonna go ahead and pull a card from the magic of what if card deck. We're gonna do volume one today. The decks are available on my website, purepossibilitiespodcast.com. If you'd like to get your own. All right, the card for today is what if I'm starting to believe that I'm worthy simply because I am. We tend to question our worthiness because we feel like we need to do something. Something needs to change within us to make us worthy of that dream or that goal or that milestone that we want to reach, or the life that we actually want to be living, not the one that we're living. We must do something to be worthy of that. And what if you're worthy simply because you are, because you're here and your being makes you worthy. How would your life shift if you acknowledge your worthiness simply because you are? That you don't have to do anything to be worthy of the life that you desire. That kind of gave me chills. Our lives aren't gonna go according to plan. In fact, it probably won't. The likelihood that it won't is pretty high. And while we don't get to choose every circumstance, we do get to choose how we respond to it, how we meet it, how we accept it for ourselves, and also trusting that whatever is happening, what if it is happening for your highest good? What if the plans for your path are so much greater than you could have possibly dreamt up or imagined? And that these obstacles, these things that might appear to be roadblocks are actually not a detour. They are actually part of your path. So instead of why did this happen, maybe this week, ask, what is this inviting me to learn? How is this inviting me to grow? Or what might be possible because this happened? Not because the difficulties in our life feel good, not because you have to look for a silver lining and pretend like life is perfect. Because when we approach life from a space of curiosity, life has a way of opening doors that the deep resistance that we often have never could. And the very thing that feels like it might be getting in your way may one day become part of the story that brought you exactly where you needed to be. I can

Weekly Questions And Listener Check-In

Shannon 14:56

think of several situations in my life where that is absolutely true. Didn't always feel like it in the moment, but when I look back, those things needed to happen to bring me exactly where I'm at in this moment. And I would love to know do you have part of your story that at the time it felt like something was completely throwing you off course? And then when you realized how you grew, how you evolved, what opportunities came for you because of that thing happening, let me know. You can always send me a text message or a voice memo at the top of the show description. You just click on the little link. If you have any topics you would love for me to do on the show, you can let me know there too. And thank you. Thank you so much for being here. I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful day and an amazing week. Much love.